0 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,800 (RADlO TUNlNG) 2 00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:13,609 JOAN ON RADIO: For those of you who read my new book, The Courtesan Complex, 3 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,047 and I hope you do, even if you have to get it from the library, 4 00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:23,348 you'll find a big, fat chapter called "Sexual Fantasies and Fantastic Sex. " 5 00:00:23,656 --> 00:00:26,523 Patients I work with here at the Allenby Clinic, 6 00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:30,290 Iisteners who write to us, people I meet around the country, 7 00:00:30,663 --> 00:00:34,656 everyone thinks that his sexual fantasies, or her sexual fantasies, 8 00:00:34,734 --> 00:00:39,398 are unique and personal and perhaps even a little shameful. 9 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,068 We get a lot of call-ins about that. 10 00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:45,105 And the fact is that those fantasies 11 00:00:45,178 --> 00:00:47,942 are as common and as healthy as rain. 12 00:00:48,581 --> 00:00:51,482 The big secret is everybody's got 'em. 13 00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:56,688 For women, one of the most common fantasies is that of being a courtesan. 14 00:00:57,190 --> 00:00:59,886 A highly desired, incredibly beautiful prostitute, 15 00:00:59,959 --> 00:01:02,393 bestowing her favors on her chosen lover. 16 00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:06,460 In the few moments I have left, I want to make the point 17 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:09,866 that everybody dreams the same sexy dream. 18 00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:13,372 So don't be shy about including it in your love games. 19 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,807 As long as they're just games, I give you my permission. 20 00:01:18,211 --> 00:01:20,702 The book, again, is The Courtesan Complex, 21 00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:23,578 and until next time, this is Doctor Joan Allenby 22 00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:26,084 suggesting that a rich sexual fantasy life 23 00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:29,713 is as important to good sex as choosing the right lover. 24 00:01:31,624 --> 00:01:33,216 Bye-bye for now. 25 00:01:40,900 --> 00:01:42,265 Well, now. Well, now. 26 00:01:42,335 --> 00:01:44,030 Why did you ever leave me? 27 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,265 I give you three seconds to run into my arms. 28 00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:47,738 Male domination. 29 00:01:47,807 --> 00:01:49,968 One. I hate your business trips. 30 00:01:50,043 --> 00:01:52,534 Two. I hate my business trips. 31 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:53,977 Three. Oh, boy. 32 00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:03,989 When do we really get serious about this? 33 00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:05,649 Tonight in Chicago. 34 00:02:05,725 --> 00:02:07,522 Mmm-mmm. Can't go with you. 35 00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:08,959 No, David, you promised. 36 00:02:09,028 --> 00:02:11,053 I promised you your own television show, 37 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,463 and the deal makes here, tomorrow, LA. 38 00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:16,502 What's more important anyway, happiness or money? 39 00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:18,332 MADGE: The Doctor Allenby Clinic. Good afternoon. 40 00:02:18,404 --> 00:02:21,066 I loathe those damn radio conventions. 41 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,371 The good old syndication boys. 42 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,142 Can't your meeting wait another day? No. 43 00:02:26,212 --> 00:02:28,043 So you'll have to carry the flag in Chicago. 44 00:02:28,114 --> 00:02:29,581 I hate it. Come with me. 45 00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:30,638 Not a prayer. 46 00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:33,644 She's crazy about him. I haven't got a chance. 47 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,881 Madge, did you call a car for Dr. Allenby? 48 00:02:35,955 --> 00:02:37,445 Limo's waiting downstairs. 49 00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:40,752 He may not be so crazy about her. 50 00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:43,424 There may be hope yet, Doctor. 51 00:02:43,963 --> 00:02:46,659 Joanie, believe me, 52 00:02:46,733 --> 00:02:48,633 one day in Chicago will do it. 53 00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:50,896 You'll dazzle the buyers and head for the hills. 54 00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:52,767 Uh-huh. You know what "fat chance" means? 55 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:53,828 (KNOCKlNG ON DOOR) 56 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:54,999 Yeah? 57 00:02:55,074 --> 00:02:57,508 Joan, I've done a new paper for the journal. 58 00:02:57,810 --> 00:03:01,769 "Narcissism and Frigidity." You might take a look at it on the plane. 59 00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:05,217 I will if I get time. Simon, did you enjoy my broadcast? 60 00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:07,116 What makes you think I listened to it, Doctor? 61 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,080 If I hated a program as much as you hate mine, 62 00:03:10,156 --> 00:03:12,386 I'd probably listen out of sheer malicious spite. 63 00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:14,653 Cheap, shoddy commercialization. 64 00:03:14,727 --> 00:03:16,991 Actually, Simon, there's nothing cheap about it. 65 00:03:17,063 --> 00:03:18,360 Joan, you need to get a move on. 66 00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:24,099 Plane tickets, itinerary. 67 00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:26,400 Limo will meet you at O'Hare. Yep. 68 00:03:26,472 --> 00:03:29,498 Hotel reservations, and Agatha Christie. 69 00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:32,801 If nothing else, she'll help you sleep. 70 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,710 Cindy, how could l survive without you? 71 00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:37,511 Oh, you can't. It's job security. 72 00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:43,578 Bye-bye. 73 00:03:49,295 --> 00:03:52,230 DAVlD: For a couple of lovesick kids, we sure do have a hard time getting together. 74 00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:54,198 JOAN: Oh, good. That sounds like guilt. 75 00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:55,791 Where there's guilt, there's hope. 76 00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:59,928 Did you call your mother today? 77 00:04:00,006 --> 00:04:01,837 And when was the last time you made love to me? 78 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:02,966 I don't remember. 79 00:04:03,042 --> 00:04:04,839 Oh, very good! 80 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,936 Does that make you feel guilty? 81 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:10,510 Just makes me want to make love to you. 82 00:04:11,017 --> 00:04:13,383 Wait for me, cowboy. 83 00:04:16,856 --> 00:04:18,289 I adore you. 84 00:04:19,225 --> 00:04:20,817 WOMAN ON PA: Ladies and gentlemen, 85 00:04:20,893 --> 00:04:23,987 we regret Flight 141 to Chicago O'Hare Airport is still delayed. 86 00:04:24,063 --> 00:04:25,587 Doctor Allenby. 87 00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:27,355 Doctor Allenby. 88 00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,458 We anticipate the fog will be with us through the night. 89 00:04:29,535 --> 00:04:31,002 Oh, we're finally boarding. 90 00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:33,538 I'm afraid not. The airport's still socked in. 91 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,836 What about Burbank, or one of the other airports? 92 00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:37,876 Dr. Allenby, may I make a suggestion? 93 00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,970 Why don't you get a good night's sleep at one of the airport hotels, 94 00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:43,743 and I can book you on the first flight in the morning? 95 00:04:43,816 --> 00:04:46,182 If I'm going to sleep, I can do better than a hotel. 96 00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:47,719 I appreciate all your help. 97 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:48,947 My pleasure. 98 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:52,590 I enjoyed reading The Courtesan Complex. 99 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,627 I enjoyed writing it. 100 00:04:57,263 --> 00:05:01,757 We regret all flights departing and arriving will be delayed until further notice. 101 00:05:03,569 --> 00:05:08,563 Will Mr. Bruce Phillips please go to the white courtesy phone in the main lobby? 102 00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:32,959 Good evening, Dr. Allenby. 103 00:05:33,032 --> 00:05:35,262 Hello, Ozzie. Final exams? 104 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,929 Yes. In law school, every day is final exams. 105 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:41,962 You think so, counselor? Try a doctorate in psychology. 106 00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:12,536 (WOMAN MOANlNG) 107 00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:18,133 (WOMAN GlGGLlNG) 108 00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:35,887 (LAUGHlNG) 109 00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:14,728 DAVlD: I'm hungry. 110 00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:21,338 ClNDY: If I was a dessert, what kind of dessert would I be? 111 00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:25,440 Bavarian chocolate cream pie, 112 00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:29,375 Iaced with rare Napoleon brandy. 113 00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:36,555 ClNDY: What about your Dr. Joan? 114 00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:39,588 DAVlD: Rice pudding. 115 00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:41,755 (ClNDY LAUGHlNG) 116 00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:18,220 STEWARDESS: We're now landing at LAX. Thank you for flying with us, and have a nice day. 117 00:08:18,297 --> 00:08:21,198 WOMAN ON PA: Passengers from Flight 219 from Chicago 118 00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:23,997 may pick up your baggage at the first door. 119 00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:27,196 Oh, hello again. 120 00:08:27,406 --> 00:08:28,566 Tell me how much you missed me. 121 00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:30,165 We made the TV deal. 122 00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:31,471 That much? 123 00:08:32,545 --> 00:08:34,706 Now give it to me, come on. 124 00:08:34,780 --> 00:08:36,407 Gladly. 125 00:08:36,482 --> 00:08:37,676 How was Chicago? 126 00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:40,116 Like an all-day dental appointment. 127 00:08:41,053 --> 00:08:42,611 David? Yo. 128 00:08:43,923 --> 00:08:45,481 How long we been together? 129 00:08:45,558 --> 00:08:47,219 Business or pleasure? 130 00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:48,783 Take your pick. 131 00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:50,158 Three years. 132 00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:52,597 You ever get tired of me? 133 00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:53,927 Come on. 134 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,730 Does the sky get tired of the sun? 135 00:08:57,003 --> 00:09:00,769 Still, I think it's time we took some of my professional advice. 136 00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:03,874 Advise me, Doctor. 137 00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:05,376 Fun and games. 138 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,944 What flavor? 139 00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:09,576 Sultan and slave girl. 140 00:09:11,584 --> 00:09:14,644 Headmistress and choirboy. Whatever. 141 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:16,487 That's some "whatever." 142 00:09:17,423 --> 00:09:20,722 We've got the reception at the Music Center tonight. 143 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:23,159 Is that really what you want to do? 144 00:09:25,164 --> 00:09:27,291 What do I really want to do? 145 00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:30,164 There's a cocktail lounge called Buckets. 146 00:09:31,704 --> 00:09:33,569 Meet me there at 9:00. 147 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,642 Boy, have I got plans for you. 148 00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:34,083 (CLASSlCAL MUSlC PLAYlNG) 149 00:11:38,497 --> 00:11:39,486 Joan! 150 00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:42,794 Oh, Joan, thank God you've come. 151 00:11:42,868 --> 00:11:44,768 I've forgotten everyone's name. 152 00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:47,569 Relax, Helen. It looks like a wonderful turnout. 153 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:52,043 Well, now comes phase two, the prying open of the checkbook. 154 00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:55,011 Go. Circulate. Get money for music. 155 00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:56,343 Married women circulate. 156 00:11:56,415 --> 00:11:58,178 Single women mingle. 157 00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:06,013 Joan. 158 00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:08,184 Walter, I didn't know you were going to be here tonight. 159 00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:09,887 Well, I'm testing my agoraphobia. 160 00:12:09,962 --> 00:12:12,931 If I can stand all this, I can stand anything. 161 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,832 Where's David? 162 00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:17,135 Well, he had to work. Oh. 163 00:12:17,203 --> 00:12:21,435 Well, why don't the two of us find a quiet corner and share some hors d'oeuvres? 164 00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:23,039 I'll protect you from the rabble. 165 00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:25,942 I'd love to, Walter, but the committee members are supposed to mix. 166 00:12:26,011 --> 00:12:27,672 Enjoy the concert. 167 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:40,410 Oh, excuse me. I'm terribly sorry. 168 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:43,148 Oh, what a marvelous hat! I love it! 169 00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:44,211 Thank you. 170 00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:47,255 I don't believe we've met. 171 00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:49,089 I'm Helen Hendrix from the committee. 172 00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,425 Have you ever considered making a donation? 173 00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,265 Can I buy you a drink? 174 00:14:29,568 --> 00:14:30,592 Competition? 175 00:14:30,669 --> 00:14:31,897 Never seen her before. 176 00:14:32,504 --> 00:14:33,869 Did she buy the chair? 177 00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:35,463 Not yet, she didn't. 178 00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:37,474 I'll deliver this myself. 179 00:14:42,081 --> 00:14:43,139 Drinks are on the house. 180 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,149 Hi. I'm Lisa. 181 00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:46,878 Hi, Lisa. Matches? 182 00:14:58,964 --> 00:15:02,161 That's for friendship and understanding. 183 00:15:03,802 --> 00:15:05,030 Good luck, Lisa. 184 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:48,811 What? 185 00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:56,218 Hello, sailor. You come here often? 186 00:15:57,256 --> 00:15:58,689 You're playing games, Joan? 187 00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:02,750 Yes, and I'm not Joan. I'm Lisa. 188 00:16:05,597 --> 00:16:08,657 Come on, David, loosen up. Play with me a little. 189 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,263 How do you like your Lisa? 190 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,163 Lisa has never looked more delectable. 191 00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,742 Would you like to take Lisa home with you? 192 00:16:19,178 --> 00:16:20,372 Say yes. 193 00:16:20,846 --> 00:16:21,835 Yes. 194 00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:23,704 Money. 195 00:16:39,298 --> 00:16:40,287 Enough? 196 00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:43,164 For starters. 197 00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:47,000 (LAUGHlNG) Uh-huh. Yeah. 198 00:16:47,439 --> 00:16:49,066 Come on up and see the doctor. 199 00:16:49,141 --> 00:16:51,006 Is Lisa a doctor? Mmm-hmm. 200 00:16:51,076 --> 00:16:53,670 Wait till you see what kind of doctor. 201 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,883 Good evening, Mr. Kincaid. 202 00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:04,650 How long till the bar, Ozzie? 203 00:17:04,723 --> 00:17:06,190 Uh, next spring, Mr. Kincaid. 204 00:17:06,258 --> 00:17:07,816 You'll do fine. 205 00:17:08,494 --> 00:17:11,486 Yeah, well, working nights, I have plenty of studying time. 206 00:17:11,563 --> 00:17:13,463 That's the way I did it. 207 00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:31,679 Shh. 208 00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:33,911 What are we whispering for? 209 00:17:34,586 --> 00:17:37,180 My mother is sleeping in here. 210 00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:40,956 Shh. 211 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,888 My Uncle Max is in there. 212 00:17:43,962 --> 00:17:44,951 Oh, right. 213 00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:50,127 And this is my room. 214 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:36,937 No. 215 00:18:40,319 --> 00:18:42,253 Let me do everything. 216 00:18:50,729 --> 00:18:53,755 It's my evening. I'm in charge. 217 00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:57,827 You don't have to do anything. 218 00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:03,803 You're forbidden to do anything, 219 00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:08,142 except to enjoy everything. 220 00:19:15,387 --> 00:19:16,445 My glove. 221 00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:28,124 Wait till you see what I can do with this. 222 00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:36,933 Where did you learn all this, huh? 223 00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:40,370 I wrote the book, remember? 224 00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:47,642 I'm your instrument of absolute pleasure. 225 00:19:47,786 --> 00:19:49,185 Don't go. 226 00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:50,516 Just for a minute. 227 00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:52,780 Don't look. 228 00:19:54,793 --> 00:19:57,091 Get ready for my real surprise. 229 00:19:57,829 --> 00:19:59,922 I'm almost ready now. 230 00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:03,456 What? 231 00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:10,538 If I were a dessert, what kind of dessert would I be? 232 00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:37,985 Sorry, but you can't go in there. 233 00:21:38,063 --> 00:21:39,052 Really? 234 00:21:39,531 --> 00:21:43,126 I could spend the rest of my life just watching you walk toward me. 235 00:21:43,201 --> 00:21:44,190 Thank you. 236 00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:47,839 And now you can watch me walk away from you. 237 00:22:55,741 --> 00:22:59,302 Well, partner, we did it, concert and all. 238 00:22:59,378 --> 00:23:01,539 What do you think? Big success? 239 00:23:02,581 --> 00:23:05,209 I think everything came off perfectly. 240 00:23:18,196 --> 00:23:21,063 OFFlCER: Okay, so let me get this straight. This is a complete log here 241 00:23:21,166 --> 00:23:24,624 of everyone that came in and went out of the building. Is that correct, sir? 242 00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:27,227 That's right. Excuse me, officer. Dr. Allenby? 243 00:23:27,305 --> 00:23:29,000 Dr. Allenby, I'm sorry. 244 00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:32,202 Thank you, Ozzie. I don't think I believe it yet. 245 00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:38,473 (ELEVATOR MUSlC PLAYlNG) 246 00:24:46,718 --> 00:24:47,742 Whoa! 247 00:24:47,819 --> 00:24:49,582 Thank you, thank you. 248 00:24:50,655 --> 00:24:51,644 Joan. 249 00:24:53,758 --> 00:24:54,747 Oh, Joan. 250 00:24:56,828 --> 00:24:58,921 What can I say? I know, Cindy. Thank you. 251 00:24:58,997 --> 00:25:02,091 Joan, it's so awful. I feel so bad. 252 00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:05,000 Thank you. There's so much to feel bad about, Madge. 253 00:25:05,070 --> 00:25:06,128 Here. 254 00:25:09,140 --> 00:25:10,539 Lieutenant Columbo. 255 00:25:13,144 --> 00:25:17,240 This is Dr. Allenby. Joan, this is Lieutenant Columbo from the police. 256 00:25:17,749 --> 00:25:19,216 You're Dr. Allenby? 257 00:25:20,085 --> 00:25:21,882 I've been looking forward to meeting you, 258 00:25:21,953 --> 00:25:25,389 and here we rode all the way up in the elevator together. 259 00:25:25,457 --> 00:25:26,617 I'm, uh... 260 00:25:26,691 --> 00:25:28,886 I'm very sorry, ma'am, about what happened. 261 00:25:29,127 --> 00:25:31,687 I'm not sure what happened, Lieutenant. 262 00:25:31,763 --> 00:25:35,699 The call said David is dead, shot to death last night. That's all I know. 263 00:25:36,268 --> 00:25:38,634 It's not a very pleasant subject, ma'am. 264 00:25:39,404 --> 00:25:41,167 Where did it happen? 265 00:25:41,306 --> 00:25:43,274 In that bedroom, ma'am. 266 00:25:43,341 --> 00:25:45,036 May I see the room? 267 00:25:45,610 --> 00:25:46,668 Doctor. 268 00:25:46,745 --> 00:25:50,442 I'm sorry, Dr. Allenby's appointments are canceled until further notice. 269 00:25:50,515 --> 00:25:53,109 Well, Doctor, I'm not sure you'll be ready for all that yet, 270 00:25:53,184 --> 00:25:57,280 being that you and the victim were, as I understand it, very close. 271 00:25:57,589 --> 00:26:01,286 I'm not a stranger to shock, Lieutenant. I want to know what happened. 272 00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:03,918 All right, ma'am, if that's what you want. 273 00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:06,595 Joan. Joan. 274 00:26:07,165 --> 00:26:10,726 I called the radio people and canceled your program for the rest of the week. 275 00:26:10,802 --> 00:26:13,066 Thank you, Simon. That was very thoughtful. 276 00:26:13,138 --> 00:26:16,198 Oh, Joan, did you get a chance to look at my new paper? 277 00:26:17,309 --> 00:26:19,243 No, Simon. I did not. 278 00:26:25,784 --> 00:26:29,515 You see, Doctor? This is all what I didn't want you to see. 279 00:26:31,222 --> 00:26:33,747 In here, that's where it happened. 280 00:26:38,096 --> 00:26:39,085 There? 281 00:26:39,731 --> 00:26:41,858 That's where he fell, ma'am, 282 00:26:42,467 --> 00:26:43,991 after the woman shot him. 283 00:26:46,404 --> 00:26:47,393 A woman? 284 00:26:47,505 --> 00:26:50,338 If you'll forgive my saying so, ma'am, a very beautiful woman, 285 00:26:50,408 --> 00:26:54,003 very desirable, here in the bedroom with Mr. Kincaid. 286 00:26:55,046 --> 00:26:58,038 We got a description from the night security guard. 287 00:26:58,116 --> 00:27:02,416 Dark hair, all dressed in black, with a black fedora hat. 288 00:27:03,188 --> 00:27:05,247 Does that strike a chord, ma'am? 289 00:27:05,323 --> 00:27:07,291 Would Mr. Kincaid know anybody like that? 290 00:27:08,126 --> 00:27:09,650 Would you know anybody like that? 291 00:27:09,728 --> 00:27:13,391 No. No, I didn't know that David knew anyone like that. 292 00:27:14,399 --> 00:27:15,696 Is there some explanation? 293 00:27:15,767 --> 00:27:17,792 It's hard to come right out and say it, ma'am, 294 00:27:17,869 --> 00:27:21,361 but you can see there's some kind of violence here. 295 00:27:22,073 --> 00:27:24,735 And over here there's blood on the carpet, 296 00:27:25,310 --> 00:27:29,007 nothing to do with the body, like he was hurting her. 297 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:32,640 I'm sorry to say, ma'am, like he was making her do something 298 00:27:32,717 --> 00:27:34,617 she didn't want to do. 299 00:27:34,686 --> 00:27:36,347 And she was armed. 300 00:27:36,755 --> 00:27:38,916 Unless there was already a gun in the room. 301 00:27:39,658 --> 00:27:41,125 And she shot him. 302 00:27:42,060 --> 00:27:43,687 At least that's the way it seems. 303 00:27:43,762 --> 00:27:46,629 I can assure you, Lieutenant, there was no gun in this room. 304 00:27:47,098 --> 00:27:52,593 You know, I was wondering, ma'am, what kind of room is this? 305 00:27:56,041 --> 00:27:58,669 We're psychologists here, Lieutenant. 306 00:27:59,744 --> 00:28:02,144 Our patients come to us with sexual problems. 307 00:28:02,213 --> 00:28:04,773 Sometimes alone, sometimes in couples. 308 00:28:04,849 --> 00:28:09,183 Sometimes a room like this can be conducive to solving their sexual problems. 309 00:28:09,254 --> 00:28:11,916 And we also use that part for lecture purposes. 310 00:28:11,990 --> 00:28:13,651 You mean, these people, they go to bed here? 311 00:28:13,725 --> 00:28:15,659 That's what the whole room was designed for. 312 00:28:15,727 --> 00:28:17,422 And the people there are watching them? 313 00:28:17,495 --> 00:28:20,225 No, Lieutenant. I assure you, they're quite alone. 314 00:28:20,298 --> 00:28:23,392 But there's people out there. I mean, in the hall. 315 00:28:23,468 --> 00:28:26,437 There's people all around here. There are doors. 316 00:28:26,971 --> 00:28:28,996 Yeah, but the people out there know, 317 00:28:29,074 --> 00:28:32,771 I mean, that the couple is in here, and the couple in here, 318 00:28:32,844 --> 00:28:34,835 I mean, they know that the people out there know. 319 00:28:34,913 --> 00:28:36,574 Lieutenant, we're talking about therapy. Everybody knows? 320 00:28:36,648 --> 00:28:37,910 Does that disturb you? 321 00:28:37,982 --> 00:28:39,609 Oh. Oh, no, ma'am. No, no. 322 00:28:39,684 --> 00:28:41,151 I'm just asking questions, ma'am. 323 00:28:41,219 --> 00:28:43,619 Just part of the investigation. 324 00:28:44,355 --> 00:28:48,121 Those are his things, ma'am. What we call his effects. 325 00:28:48,193 --> 00:28:49,182 Yes. 326 00:28:50,161 --> 00:28:53,653 After death, things have a way of turning into effects. 327 00:28:53,732 --> 00:28:55,495 And David turns into a stranger. 328 00:28:56,901 --> 00:28:58,061 JOAN: Buckets? 329 00:28:58,136 --> 00:28:59,660 I think it's some kind of a bar, ma'am. 330 00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:00,762 I see. 331 00:29:00,839 --> 00:29:03,103 And over here, a cigarette stub. 332 00:29:04,008 --> 00:29:05,441 Is that hers? 333 00:29:05,510 --> 00:29:08,035 That's the assumption we're working under, ma'am. 334 00:29:08,113 --> 00:29:09,546 A smoker. 335 00:29:09,614 --> 00:29:11,605 Lieutenant. Yes, Sergeant? 336 00:29:13,151 --> 00:29:14,778 A moment, ma'am. 337 00:29:18,857 --> 00:29:21,883 When you went for coffee, we found these hairs on the victim. 338 00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,360 Long black hairs, like a woman's. 339 00:29:26,231 --> 00:29:28,961 We searched the whole area by the body, nothing yet. 340 00:29:29,033 --> 00:29:31,729 These hairs were on his right shoulder and near his chest. 341 00:29:31,803 --> 00:29:35,330 COLUMBO: Well, we have the hairs, right? Might tell us something. 342 00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:37,134 Can I take these things yet? 343 00:29:37,208 --> 00:29:39,142 No, Sergeant, not yet. No. 344 00:29:53,224 --> 00:29:56,352 Lieutenant, is there anything else I should know? 345 00:29:57,562 --> 00:30:01,157 Oh, oh, excuse me, ma'am. I'm terribly sorry. 346 00:30:01,933 --> 00:30:04,401 We get so wrapped up in these things. 347 00:30:04,469 --> 00:30:06,733 Little details like a woman's cigarette. 348 00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:09,569 I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept you waiting like that. 349 00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:12,132 Ma'am, could you take another look at those effects? 350 00:30:12,210 --> 00:30:13,404 Certainly. 351 00:30:18,383 --> 00:30:19,475 Are you looking, ma'am? 352 00:30:19,551 --> 00:30:21,212 Yes, Lieutenant, I'm looking. 353 00:30:21,286 --> 00:30:24,653 These are all the things that were in Mr. Kincaid's pockets. 354 00:30:24,722 --> 00:30:27,885 Do you see anything that's missing? Something very puzzling? 355 00:30:27,959 --> 00:30:29,483 I don't think I understand. 356 00:30:29,561 --> 00:30:32,587 His keys, ma'am. There aren't any keys. 357 00:30:33,364 --> 00:30:35,423 If there aren't any keys, 358 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,797 how did the victim unlock the door to your clinic last night? 359 00:30:39,237 --> 00:30:40,329 How did they get in here? 360 00:30:40,405 --> 00:30:43,238 Yes, of course, his keys. How very strange. 361 00:30:44,008 --> 00:30:46,067 I suppose the woman could have taken them. 362 00:30:46,144 --> 00:30:47,771 Yes, that's very good, Lieutenant. 363 00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:51,782 In a moment of panic, to escape, to steal his car, she took his keys. 364 00:30:51,850 --> 00:30:55,650 But, ma'am, why would she do that? She just murdered a man. 365 00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,985 Why would she take a chance on being seen driving his car? 366 00:30:59,591 --> 00:31:01,991 I mean, even in panic, I would think 367 00:31:02,060 --> 00:31:05,427 she'd want to stay as far away from that car as she could. 368 00:31:06,598 --> 00:31:07,963 Yes, I see. 369 00:31:08,032 --> 00:31:09,693 On the other hand, 370 00:31:11,603 --> 00:31:14,538 maybe she took the keys not to drive the car, 371 00:31:15,573 --> 00:31:19,031 but to get something out of the car which could identify her. 372 00:31:19,544 --> 00:31:21,910 Something she bought that day, 373 00:31:21,980 --> 00:31:26,041 a dress from the cleaners, a prescription. Could be anything. 374 00:31:26,117 --> 00:31:28,915 That's very clever, Lieutenant. That would explain everything. 375 00:31:28,987 --> 00:31:32,650 But if it didn't, ma'am, then the lady in black, 376 00:31:34,025 --> 00:31:37,188 she'd be the one who had the key to your clinic. 377 00:31:37,262 --> 00:31:41,961 But if that was true, you certainly would have some idea who she might be. 378 00:31:42,033 --> 00:31:44,831 You see why I'm puzzled by these keys? 379 00:31:45,970 --> 00:31:49,599 Lieutenant, I'm afraid that I'm not ready to deal with all of this yet. 380 00:31:49,674 --> 00:31:51,301 Would you mind if I went back to my office? 381 00:31:51,376 --> 00:31:55,176 Oh, of course not, ma'am. I'm sorry to bother you with all of these questions. 382 00:31:55,246 --> 00:31:57,612 I know what a terrible shock this has been. 383 00:31:57,682 --> 00:32:01,243 Thank you for trying to shield me. You've been very kind. 384 00:32:12,163 --> 00:32:16,691 I'm sure you know by now I'm always here for you. Whatever I can do. 385 00:32:16,768 --> 00:32:19,635 You're very sweet, Walter. Thank you. 386 00:32:19,938 --> 00:32:21,235 This place... 387 00:32:22,140 --> 00:32:27,476 All we ever seem to talk about is sex and feelings. 388 00:32:28,346 --> 00:32:30,473 It's always with strangers. 389 00:32:30,548 --> 00:32:32,448 We never get to talk about our own feelings. 390 00:32:32,517 --> 00:32:33,506 (KNOCKlNG ON DOOR) 391 00:32:35,119 --> 00:32:38,111 Lieutenant Columbo, ma'am. Is it all right to intrude? 392 00:32:38,189 --> 00:32:41,090 Of course, Lieutenant. You met Doctor Neff? 393 00:32:41,259 --> 00:32:44,558 Oh, I think I've met everyone in the clinic. All the sex doctors. 394 00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:47,462 Psychologists, Lieutenant. Sex therapists. 395 00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:53,135 Joan, believe me, one day all this pain will just be a memory. 396 00:32:57,809 --> 00:33:00,004 Could I get you some tea, Lieutenant? 397 00:33:00,078 --> 00:33:01,807 Oh, no, thank you, ma'am. 398 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,075 No? All right. 399 00:33:06,384 --> 00:33:08,579 Well, what can I do for you? 400 00:33:08,953 --> 00:33:12,821 I'll just ask you a few more questions, ma'am, if you can put up with that. 401 00:33:12,890 --> 00:33:17,259 I think I can manage that. From this moment, Lieutenant, life goes on. 402 00:33:18,162 --> 00:33:20,653 Back straight, chin up and a smile for the world. 403 00:33:21,933 --> 00:33:23,525 How's that for courage? 404 00:33:23,801 --> 00:33:26,361 Well, that's a very nice smile you have there, ma'am. 405 00:33:28,172 --> 00:33:30,140 How can I help you? 406 00:33:30,208 --> 00:33:33,177 Mainly, Dr. Allenby, it's about the victim. 407 00:33:34,812 --> 00:33:38,578 Could you tell me about your relationship with the victim? 408 00:33:40,318 --> 00:33:42,183 We had great sex. 409 00:33:47,158 --> 00:33:48,557 Okay. 410 00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:52,293 The victim, as you so delicately put it, was my lover. 411 00:33:52,363 --> 00:33:53,921 Is there a problem with that? 412 00:33:55,533 --> 00:33:57,933 Not necessarily, ma'am, no. 413 00:33:58,770 --> 00:34:02,399 David and I enjoyed making physical love to each other, and only to each other. 414 00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:05,672 At least, that was my assumption in the days 415 00:34:05,743 --> 00:34:08,576 when I was considerably less skeptical than I am now. 416 00:34:08,646 --> 00:34:12,082 David was also my business partner in our radio and television work. 417 00:34:12,150 --> 00:34:14,050 Are you familiar with my broadcasts? 418 00:34:14,118 --> 00:34:15,551 Yes, I am. 419 00:34:15,620 --> 00:34:21,820 The things that you say on the radio, ma'am, they're very frank. 420 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:23,422 About what? 421 00:34:23,861 --> 00:34:25,385 About sex, ma'am. 422 00:34:27,165 --> 00:34:28,393 Sit down. 423 00:34:32,336 --> 00:34:35,828 David's love made it possible for me to be frank in public. 424 00:34:37,108 --> 00:34:39,542 The kinds of things I have to talk about 425 00:34:40,211 --> 00:34:44,375 require a great deal of sexual confidence and happiness and freedom. 426 00:34:46,017 --> 00:34:48,247 David gave me all those things. 427 00:34:50,154 --> 00:34:53,885 I suppose they're the same things I try to give my patients. 428 00:34:53,958 --> 00:34:55,482 The freedom to love. 429 00:34:59,764 --> 00:35:01,755 Does that answer your question about our relationship? 430 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:05,792 Oh, yes, ma'am. You've made it very clear. 431 00:35:05,903 --> 00:35:07,234 I think I understand. 432 00:35:07,305 --> 00:35:10,331 I hope so. Lieutenant, there's still one more thing. 433 00:35:14,145 --> 00:35:17,444 Can you tell me about your own primary sexual relationships? 434 00:35:21,452 --> 00:35:23,443 I beg your pardon, ma'am? 435 00:35:23,521 --> 00:35:26,513 A policeman just asked me a very intimate question, 436 00:35:26,591 --> 00:35:28,718 and I gave a very intimate answer. 437 00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:32,160 I think I have a right to know how that answer will be interpreted, 438 00:35:32,230 --> 00:35:34,960 and that depends on your intimate sexual relationships. 439 00:35:36,734 --> 00:35:40,101 I'm a married man, ma'am. 440 00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:42,636 Everything all right at home? 441 00:35:44,175 --> 00:35:46,803 I think I'm gonna be leaving now. Thank you very much. 442 00:35:46,878 --> 00:35:48,106 (JOAN LAUGHlNG) 443 00:35:49,580 --> 00:35:51,571 Don't let me drive you away, Lieutenant. 444 00:35:51,649 --> 00:35:53,947 Oh. Oh, no, ma'am. No, l... 445 00:35:54,018 --> 00:35:58,512 Not with all the work that I have to do on this case. I'm gonna be back. 446 00:35:58,589 --> 00:36:00,580 You can count on that. 447 00:36:13,337 --> 00:36:15,635 MAN: Now we're gonna learn more about the tuba. 448 00:36:15,706 --> 00:36:17,401 BOY: Is that a tuba? 449 00:36:17,475 --> 00:36:19,636 It's a very delicate instrument, 450 00:36:19,710 --> 00:36:22,543 has a very tiny, tiny, tiny tone. 451 00:36:22,613 --> 00:36:25,309 Sort of like the love song of a canary. 452 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:30,621 Listen very closely, or you just won't hear it at all. 453 00:36:31,789 --> 00:36:33,313 (TUBA PLAYlNG) 454 00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:41,123 I'm looking for, uh, Miss Hendrix. 455 00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:43,190 MAN: I forgot to tell you, it's a two-ton canary. There. 456 00:36:43,267 --> 00:36:44,256 (CHlLDREN LAUGHlNG) 457 00:36:44,335 --> 00:36:46,496 Have you ever heard a jazz tuba? 458 00:36:46,571 --> 00:36:47,560 CHlLDREN: No. 459 00:36:47,638 --> 00:36:48,627 GlRL: What's a jazz tuba? 460 00:36:48,706 --> 00:36:50,970 Here's what a jazz tuba sounds like. 461 00:36:51,142 --> 00:36:54,111 (TUBA PLAYlNG) 462 00:36:55,379 --> 00:36:58,678 Excuse me, ma'am. Lieutenant Columbo, police. 463 00:36:58,749 --> 00:36:59,738 Not now. 464 00:37:03,821 --> 00:37:06,346 Okay, who wants to learn how to play the tuba here? 465 00:37:06,524 --> 00:37:08,219 Come on, it's a cinch. CHlLDREN: No. 466 00:37:08,292 --> 00:37:10,487 You, sir. You in the raincoat. 467 00:37:10,561 --> 00:37:11,789 Me? Yeah! 468 00:37:11,862 --> 00:37:13,693 (CHlLDREN CHEERlNG) 469 00:37:15,099 --> 00:37:16,498 Oh, no, no. 470 00:37:17,101 --> 00:37:20,662 MAN: We can't do without you! Please, please, come on, sir! 471 00:37:20,838 --> 00:37:22,396 I think you're caught. 472 00:37:24,508 --> 00:37:26,339 Give him a hand, kids, come on. 473 00:37:26,410 --> 00:37:28,037 (CHlLDREN CLAPPlNG) 474 00:37:28,112 --> 00:37:31,377 Are you a musician, sir? No, sir. I'm a policeman. 475 00:37:37,388 --> 00:37:41,085 There you are, Mr. Policeman. There's your tuba. Enjoy yourself. 476 00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:44,551 BOY: Go, Mr. Policeman. Play. 477 00:37:45,529 --> 00:37:46,928 Like this, sir? 478 00:37:46,998 --> 00:37:48,260 Have fun. 479 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,264 (PLAYlNG TUBA) 480 00:37:58,943 --> 00:38:01,343 (PLAYlNG MELODY) 481 00:38:01,412 --> 00:38:04,006 (CHUCKLlNG) Hey! 482 00:38:05,116 --> 00:38:08,813 (COLUMBO PLAYlNG JAUNTY TUNE) 483 00:38:34,945 --> 00:38:36,674 (ALL APPLAUDlNG) 484 00:38:36,747 --> 00:38:38,237 MAN: Yes! Bravo! 485 00:38:46,324 --> 00:38:48,724 Ah, you've done this before. 486 00:38:49,026 --> 00:38:51,358 Well, you know, when I was in high school, 487 00:38:51,429 --> 00:38:54,125 that was the only instrument they had left. 488 00:38:54,198 --> 00:38:55,460 Same with me. 489 00:38:55,533 --> 00:38:57,160 Come on, kids, we're gonna have a tuba march. 490 00:39:00,204 --> 00:39:03,298 Everybody stand up and follow me and the policeman. 491 00:39:03,374 --> 00:39:05,103 We're gonna march off this way. 492 00:39:05,176 --> 00:39:06,575 You ready? I'm gonna try. 493 00:39:06,644 --> 00:39:07,633 (LAUGHlNG) All right! 494 00:39:07,912 --> 00:39:11,211 (BOTH PLAYlNG MARCH) 495 00:39:42,747 --> 00:39:43,736 (YELPS) 496 00:40:01,232 --> 00:40:02,631 Dr. Allenby. 497 00:40:04,034 --> 00:40:06,366 Well, this certainly is a coincidence. 498 00:40:07,104 --> 00:40:10,505 Here I come to the Music Center, I'm looking for Mr. Kincaid, 499 00:40:10,574 --> 00:40:12,201 and who do I find but you? 500 00:40:12,276 --> 00:40:13,504 You were looking for David? 501 00:40:13,577 --> 00:40:16,740 For his whereabouts, ma'am, last night, before the murder. 502 00:40:16,814 --> 00:40:18,543 That's a lovely outfit you're wearing. 503 00:40:18,616 --> 00:40:19,708 Thank you. 504 00:40:19,784 --> 00:40:22,048 This is a hard question, ma'am, 505 00:40:22,119 --> 00:40:24,280 and you certainly don't have to answer it. 506 00:40:24,355 --> 00:40:27,984 But would you mind telling me what you paid for this handbag? 507 00:40:28,659 --> 00:40:30,354 For my bag? 508 00:40:30,428 --> 00:40:33,693 It doesn't have to be exact, ma'am. Just a ballpark figure. 509 00:40:33,764 --> 00:40:36,858 Well, this was an expensive bag, Lieutenant. 510 00:40:36,934 --> 00:40:39,232 I paid about $400 for it. 511 00:40:39,303 --> 00:40:43,797 Right. See, my wife's birthday is coming up, and I'm in the market. 512 00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:46,467 You were telling me about David. 513 00:40:46,544 --> 00:40:49,035 David? Oh, yes, Mr. Kincaid. 514 00:40:49,313 --> 00:40:50,837 Uh... 515 00:40:51,048 --> 00:40:54,176 You wouldn't happen to know where I could get something that looked like that 516 00:40:54,251 --> 00:40:55,616 for about half the money? 517 00:40:55,686 --> 00:40:57,483 No, Lieutenant, I'm sorry, I don't. 518 00:40:57,555 --> 00:41:01,047 And that briefcase, ma'am, did you get that in the same shop as you got the handbag? 519 00:41:01,125 --> 00:41:02,422 Yes, I believe I did. 520 00:41:02,493 --> 00:41:04,324 Could I take a look at that? 521 00:41:05,763 --> 00:41:07,196 If you like. 522 00:41:07,331 --> 00:41:10,164 Oh, that's the real McCoy, ma'am. 523 00:41:10,601 --> 00:41:14,731 That's very fine stitching, 'cause you can hardly see the stitches. 524 00:41:14,872 --> 00:41:17,136 I'd like one of those fellas for myself. 525 00:41:17,208 --> 00:41:20,302 Lieutenant, please. You were telling me about David. 526 00:41:20,978 --> 00:41:23,276 I visited his office, ma'am, 527 00:41:23,347 --> 00:41:25,815 and right there on his desk calendar it said 528 00:41:25,883 --> 00:41:28,716 that he had a date to be here last night. 529 00:41:28,786 --> 00:41:31,311 But I spoke to that committee woman, Miss Hendrix, 530 00:41:31,822 --> 00:41:33,687 and she told me she never saw him. 531 00:41:33,757 --> 00:41:36,419 Yes, well, we had a fundraising event last night. 532 00:41:36,494 --> 00:41:38,587 I'm on the committee, so I had to be here, 533 00:41:38,662 --> 00:41:40,527 but it wasn't David's cup of fun. 534 00:41:41,031 --> 00:41:43,295 He said he'd rather hang by his thumbs. 535 00:41:43,367 --> 00:41:45,528 Well, that certainly explains why he wasn't here, ma'am. 536 00:41:45,603 --> 00:41:47,833 But that raises another question. 537 00:41:47,905 --> 00:41:50,601 Joan! Oh, honey, 538 00:41:50,975 --> 00:41:53,068 Lieutenant Columbo just told me about David. 539 00:41:53,143 --> 00:41:55,475 What a terrible thing to happen. 540 00:41:58,282 --> 00:41:59,613 Thank you, Helen. 541 00:41:59,683 --> 00:42:03,175 Oh, Lieutenant, we all think you played the tuba just beautifully. 542 00:42:03,254 --> 00:42:05,017 I enjoyed it, ma'am. 543 00:42:05,623 --> 00:42:09,889 I got your message about the master guest list. I brought it for you. 544 00:42:11,161 --> 00:42:14,028 Lieutenant, would you mind holding this for me? 545 00:42:14,098 --> 00:42:15,827 Not at all, ma'am. 546 00:42:18,402 --> 00:42:21,963 I put this in my briefcase right after you called, Helen. 547 00:42:23,874 --> 00:42:26,604 Of all days, Joan, you shouldn't have bothered. 548 00:42:26,677 --> 00:42:29,168 Well, it's better than feeling sorry for myself. 549 00:42:29,246 --> 00:42:30,679 I'll call you. 550 00:42:31,982 --> 00:42:34,212 Last night, ma'am, you were here at the party? 551 00:42:34,285 --> 00:42:35,445 All evening. 552 00:42:35,519 --> 00:42:38,113 And Mr. Kincaid, he never showed up? 553 00:42:38,188 --> 00:42:40,418 No, Lieutenant, he decided not to come. 554 00:42:40,491 --> 00:42:42,982 Well, as I was saying, that raises the question 555 00:42:43,060 --> 00:42:45,688 of where Mr. Kincaid met that woman, 556 00:42:46,030 --> 00:42:48,521 the lady all dressed in black with the black hat. 557 00:42:49,633 --> 00:42:51,362 HELEN: Oh, she was certainly here. 558 00:42:51,435 --> 00:42:52,493 Excuse me, ma'am? 559 00:42:52,570 --> 00:42:55,801 A very attractive woman dressed in black with a man's black fedora? 560 00:42:56,140 --> 00:42:58,040 Joan, you must have noticed her. 561 00:42:58,108 --> 00:43:00,303 No, I don't believe I did. 562 00:43:00,377 --> 00:43:03,369 Well, whoever she is, she was here last night. 563 00:43:04,315 --> 00:43:05,543 Does that help you, Lieutenant? 564 00:43:05,983 --> 00:43:08,213 Well, it gives me something to think about. 565 00:43:08,285 --> 00:43:10,617 It's certainly very interesting. 566 00:43:11,088 --> 00:43:12,248 Good. 567 00:43:12,423 --> 00:43:15,586 All right, position number one, and begin. 568 00:43:15,926 --> 00:43:17,894 (RHYTHMlC SHAKlNG SOUND) 569 00:43:17,962 --> 00:43:20,430 Very nice. Smile, this is fun. 570 00:43:20,497 --> 00:43:22,727 Beautiful smile. You'll do well. 571 00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:25,234 More wrist, more wrist. Good, perfect! 572 00:43:28,806 --> 00:43:31,001 Okay, now we're gonna get started. 573 00:43:31,075 --> 00:43:34,567 Now, you people, you're paying good cash to learn the bartending game. 574 00:43:34,645 --> 00:43:37,273 What you get out of it, that's up to you. 575 00:43:37,348 --> 00:43:38,781 Now, I'm a good bartender. 576 00:43:38,849 --> 00:43:42,546 Show up on time, do your lessons, work your workbooks, 577 00:43:42,620 --> 00:43:45,646 you'll be good bartenders, too. It's up to you. 578 00:43:46,490 --> 00:43:49,653 Now, one more time, and begin. 579 00:43:56,634 --> 00:43:58,295 Is this the bartending school? 580 00:43:58,369 --> 00:43:59,427 You're late. 581 00:43:59,503 --> 00:44:01,368 Oh, it's been a very busy day, sir. 582 00:44:01,438 --> 00:44:03,804 Get behind the bar. 583 00:44:03,874 --> 00:44:07,935 Right. Uh... I'm not really a bartender. 584 00:44:08,112 --> 00:44:12,276 Keep coming late, you'll never be a bartender. I said a green vest. 585 00:44:12,683 --> 00:44:14,844 Where's your green vest? What is your name? 586 00:44:14,918 --> 00:44:17,944 Columbo. Homicide. Police. 587 00:44:18,055 --> 00:44:20,182 Oh, you're the one who called. Yes, sir. 588 00:44:20,257 --> 00:44:21,918 Right over here. 589 00:44:24,895 --> 00:44:27,329 All right, the rest of you start on your workbooks. 590 00:44:27,398 --> 00:44:30,856 Lesson one, Shirley Temples. Get it right. 591 00:44:34,505 --> 00:44:37,030 Sorry about that, Lieutenant. How can I help you? 592 00:44:37,107 --> 00:44:39,541 It's this photograph, sir. 593 00:44:40,177 --> 00:44:42,372 One of my homicide victims. 594 00:44:42,980 --> 00:44:46,177 He had some of your matches from that Buckets bar. 595 00:44:46,250 --> 00:44:48,343 They were in his pocket. 596 00:44:48,419 --> 00:44:50,614 Would you recognize this man at all, sir? 597 00:44:50,688 --> 00:44:53,282 Sure. He was in last night. First-timer. 598 00:44:53,991 --> 00:44:55,686 But the matches don't match. 599 00:44:55,759 --> 00:44:56,748 Excuse me? 600 00:44:56,827 --> 00:45:01,025 I didn't give him the matches. The lady asked for matches. She smoked. 601 00:45:01,098 --> 00:45:02,497 The one he picked up. 602 00:45:02,566 --> 00:45:07,936 This lady, would I be far wrong if I said she was a very attractive lady, 603 00:45:08,005 --> 00:45:10,974 all dressed in black, wearing a man's black hat? 604 00:45:11,041 --> 00:45:12,235 About like that. 605 00:45:12,309 --> 00:45:14,869 I wasn't paying much attention, so I can't tell you much. 606 00:45:14,945 --> 00:45:17,072 Me, I'm just a bartender. 607 00:45:17,147 --> 00:45:20,173 I don't have what you might call a trained policeman's eye. 608 00:45:20,250 --> 00:45:22,548 Well, you just tell me what little you know. 609 00:45:22,619 --> 00:45:24,610 Well, the lady's another first-timer. 610 00:45:24,688 --> 00:45:28,590 Professional working girl. Called herself Lisa with no last name. 611 00:45:28,659 --> 00:45:31,150 If you believe Lisa's her real name, you'll believe anything. 612 00:45:31,228 --> 00:45:34,425 Anyway, Lisa with no last name knew the playbook. 613 00:45:34,498 --> 00:45:37,467 Comes on bold and advertises herself. 614 00:45:37,534 --> 00:45:40,264 Your guy walks in, she gives him the buzz. 615 00:45:40,337 --> 00:45:42,328 Guy hits. No wasted time. 616 00:45:42,406 --> 00:45:44,374 In two seconds, they are very cozy, 617 00:45:44,441 --> 00:45:47,137 no strains, two bugs in a rug. You know what I'm saying? 618 00:45:47,211 --> 00:45:52,342 He lays some cash on her, and out they go about 9:00, maybe 9:15, as happy as clams. 619 00:45:52,416 --> 00:45:53,747 That is for you, pal. 620 00:45:54,284 --> 00:45:57,515 That's some observation for a man who wasn't paying attention. 621 00:45:58,222 --> 00:46:00,281 Taste that. Tell me what you think. 622 00:46:00,357 --> 00:46:03,087 Well, that's very generous, sir. 623 00:46:07,865 --> 00:46:10,231 That's very refreshing. 624 00:46:10,667 --> 00:46:12,692 That's my Shirley Temple. 625 00:46:13,170 --> 00:46:15,331 An interesting Shirley Temple. 626 00:46:17,007 --> 00:46:21,273 A touch of dryness, but a light, sweet bouquet. Very nice. 627 00:46:21,345 --> 00:46:23,870 You're a very good bartender, sir. 628 00:46:23,947 --> 00:46:27,007 But I think you would make a terrific detective. 629 00:46:27,651 --> 00:46:30,085 I love the work I got, Lieutenant. 630 00:46:30,154 --> 00:46:31,280 So do l, sir. 631 00:47:12,629 --> 00:47:14,290 (DOORBELL RlNGlNG) 632 00:47:27,644 --> 00:47:30,078 Forgive me, Doctor, for dropping in on you like this, 633 00:47:30,147 --> 00:47:34,015 but I have some very interesting news, very stimulating. May l? 634 00:47:34,084 --> 00:47:35,642 Please, Lieutenant, come in. 635 00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:37,812 I'm anxious to hear anything you can tell me. 636 00:47:37,888 --> 00:47:40,721 You certainly have a lovely home here. 637 00:47:40,791 --> 00:47:41,780 Thank you. 638 00:47:41,892 --> 00:47:43,883 Oh, I've seen some beautiful homes, 639 00:47:43,961 --> 00:47:46,429 what with the different murders and all, 640 00:47:46,864 --> 00:47:48,456 but not many like this. 641 00:47:49,132 --> 00:47:53,068 And look at that. A fire in the fireplace. 642 00:47:54,204 --> 00:47:58,538 Well, it's a very chilly night, ma'am, and there's nothing like a fire. 643 00:47:58,742 --> 00:48:00,266 What's a courtesan, Doctor? 644 00:48:00,344 --> 00:48:01,436 Excuse me? 645 00:48:01,511 --> 00:48:03,741 Isn't that the title of your book? The Courtesan Complex? 646 00:48:03,814 --> 00:48:05,645 Yes. My wife read it, you know. 647 00:48:05,716 --> 00:48:07,581 Uh-huh? Oh, yes. 648 00:48:07,651 --> 00:48:11,314 She enjoyed it so much, she insisted I read it. 649 00:48:11,388 --> 00:48:14,050 Did she beat you to its pages with a stick, Lieutenant? 650 00:48:14,124 --> 00:48:16,354 Well, I'm gonna tell you the truth, ma'am. 651 00:48:16,426 --> 00:48:21,227 She was most anxious for me to read the sexual fantasy part. 652 00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:24,890 I haven't yet. 653 00:48:27,170 --> 00:48:31,800 A courtesan, ma'am, uh, that's a prostitute? 654 00:48:32,976 --> 00:48:35,945 Yes, it's a polite term for a successful prostitute. 655 00:48:36,013 --> 00:48:38,846 Well, that's another coincidence, Dr. Allenby, 656 00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:41,214 because what I came to tell you about 657 00:48:41,285 --> 00:48:45,449 is that we know a whole lot more about the lady in black now. 658 00:48:46,156 --> 00:48:47,453 Perhaps we should sit down, Lieutenant. 659 00:48:47,524 --> 00:48:49,685 Oh, no, ma'am, I'm enjoying the fire. 660 00:48:50,994 --> 00:48:54,953 The lady in black, we have a first name for her now. 661 00:48:55,732 --> 00:48:57,996 She calls herself Lisa. 662 00:48:58,068 --> 00:49:00,468 I'm gonna see about that briefcase there. 663 00:49:09,012 --> 00:49:12,209 Oh, you've kept this too close to the fire, ma'am. 664 00:49:13,917 --> 00:49:15,817 This could have been scorched. 665 00:49:18,121 --> 00:49:19,349 Thank you, Lieutenant. 666 00:49:19,423 --> 00:49:21,482 Oh, you're welcome, ma'am. 667 00:49:21,591 --> 00:49:22,853 Uh... 668 00:49:23,260 --> 00:49:26,229 Now, this Lisa, she and Mr. Kincaid 669 00:49:26,296 --> 00:49:29,823 got together last night at that bar, that Buckets place. 670 00:49:30,300 --> 00:49:33,167 Now, this is a very bold thing to say, ma'am, 671 00:49:33,337 --> 00:49:36,465 but Lisa is one of those courtesans. 672 00:49:36,673 --> 00:49:39,267 What the vice boys call a working girl. 673 00:49:39,343 --> 00:49:41,470 You mean David hired a prostitute? 674 00:49:41,545 --> 00:49:43,809 That's the way it looks now. 675 00:49:46,683 --> 00:49:48,913 And from your news about Lisa, 676 00:49:49,686 --> 00:49:51,916 I'd guessed it was something like that. 677 00:49:52,923 --> 00:49:56,620 David picking up some working girl, a stranger in a bar. 678 00:49:56,693 --> 00:49:59,560 Oh, I don't necessarily think they were strangers. 679 00:49:59,629 --> 00:50:01,392 The picture I got, 680 00:50:01,465 --> 00:50:05,697 from the way she turned down another man before Mr. Kincaid came to the bar, 681 00:50:06,269 --> 00:50:09,864 and then the way they just sat and talked, very quiet and all. 682 00:50:09,940 --> 00:50:12,841 I had to ask myself if this Lisa, 683 00:50:12,909 --> 00:50:15,309 if she was there waiting for Mr. Kincaid. 684 00:50:16,279 --> 00:50:18,804 And if they already knew each other, 685 00:50:19,783 --> 00:50:22,251 then maybe she already had a reason to kill him. 686 00:50:24,554 --> 00:50:26,044 Do you think that's possible? 687 00:50:26,123 --> 00:50:28,114 That's what I wanted to ask you. 688 00:50:28,191 --> 00:50:30,386 Do you think that's possible, 689 00:50:30,460 --> 00:50:32,860 from all your research with these courtesans? 690 00:50:34,998 --> 00:50:36,226 I tell you, Lieutenant, 691 00:50:36,299 --> 00:50:39,063 after today, I don't know what's possible and what isn't. 692 00:50:39,136 --> 00:50:40,467 (CHUCKLlNG) I'll tell you, ma'am, 693 00:50:40,537 --> 00:50:42,402 that's about the way I feel. 694 00:50:42,472 --> 00:50:46,272 This case, it's already got me crazy. 695 00:50:47,077 --> 00:50:50,444 Every time I learn something new, 696 00:50:50,981 --> 00:50:52,710 I get a puzzle. 697 00:50:52,783 --> 00:50:54,273 New problems. 698 00:50:55,152 --> 00:50:57,313 When Mr. Kincaid told you 699 00:50:57,954 --> 00:51:01,321 that he wasn't going to the party at the Music Center, 700 00:51:01,591 --> 00:51:02,922 what time was that, ma'am? 701 00:51:02,993 --> 00:51:04,017 I think... 702 00:51:04,094 --> 00:51:06,892 Yes, it was yesterday when he picked me up at the airport. 703 00:51:06,963 --> 00:51:10,626 So he had plenty of time to make another arrangement for that evening, 704 00:51:10,700 --> 00:51:13,134 Iike with this Lisa at that Buckets place. 705 00:51:13,203 --> 00:51:15,763 That's reasonable, knowing what we know now. 706 00:51:15,839 --> 00:51:19,104 So what was the lady in black doing at the Music Center? 707 00:51:19,176 --> 00:51:20,768 It could have been for the music. 708 00:51:20,844 --> 00:51:23,176 Even courtesans can love music, Lieutenant. 709 00:51:23,246 --> 00:51:26,044 For the music. That's what I told myself. 710 00:51:26,283 --> 00:51:29,980 But when the concert started, Lisa was already at Buckets, 711 00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:31,810 so it couldn't have been for the music. 712 00:51:31,888 --> 00:51:33,412 So what was she doing there? 713 00:51:33,824 --> 00:51:35,587 I'd like to try to help you, Lieutenant. 714 00:51:35,659 --> 00:51:36,648 I'm very tired. 715 00:51:36,726 --> 00:51:39,923 Oh, I'm sorry. I've kept you too long. 716 00:51:40,597 --> 00:51:44,226 Thank you for the nice fire, and I'll just see myself out. 717 00:51:48,271 --> 00:51:49,932 With my briefcase? 718 00:51:50,740 --> 00:51:51,729 Oh. 719 00:51:51,808 --> 00:51:53,002 (BOTH LAUGHlNG) 720 00:51:53,076 --> 00:51:55,237 Oh, look at that, ma'am. 721 00:51:55,745 --> 00:51:57,975 Well, it certainly is a beauty. 722 00:51:58,281 --> 00:51:59,942 Good night, ma'am. 723 00:52:00,016 --> 00:52:01,916 Good night, Lieutenant. 724 00:52:02,619 --> 00:52:05,053 Thank you for keeping me informed. 725 00:52:10,093 --> 00:52:11,492 Dr. Allenby. 726 00:52:15,599 --> 00:52:18,727 Did I tell you that we found Mr. Kincaid's keys? 727 00:52:18,802 --> 00:52:19,826 No, you didn't. 728 00:52:19,903 --> 00:52:23,304 Sergeant Burke, he found Mr. Kincaid's car near Buckets. 729 00:52:23,373 --> 00:52:26,240 It was parked in some valet parking place. 730 00:52:26,409 --> 00:52:27,433 I see. 731 00:52:27,511 --> 00:52:29,138 So the lady in black, 732 00:52:29,212 --> 00:52:31,180 she couldn't have taken the keys from the murder scene. 733 00:52:31,248 --> 00:52:33,239 The keys were never there. 734 00:52:34,084 --> 00:52:35,574 The keys were at the valet parker. 735 00:52:35,652 --> 00:52:38,883 So that still leaves that other problem, ma'am. 736 00:52:38,955 --> 00:52:41,822 How did Mr. Kincaid unlock the door to your clinic? 737 00:52:42,492 --> 00:52:45,655 You see how everything keeps dropping out on me? 738 00:52:46,396 --> 00:52:47,988 This case, boy. 739 00:52:48,064 --> 00:52:50,055 I don't know what to tell you. 740 00:52:50,133 --> 00:52:51,862 Try and sleep well. 741 00:53:00,277 --> 00:53:01,710 (DOOR CLOSES) 742 00:53:07,684 --> 00:53:09,311 Just one more thing, ma'am. 743 00:53:09,386 --> 00:53:11,479 Just for my reports, just a detail. 744 00:53:11,555 --> 00:53:12,954 I hope you'll understand. 745 00:53:13,023 --> 00:53:15,218 Yes, I understand. A detail for your report. 746 00:53:15,292 --> 00:53:18,284 Yes, ma'am. The night you flew to Chicago, 747 00:53:18,762 --> 00:53:20,730 the security guard's log book, 748 00:53:20,797 --> 00:53:23,527 it said you went back to the office that night. 749 00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:24,862 My flight was fogged in, Lieutenant. 750 00:53:24,935 --> 00:53:27,563 I didn't actually get out until the morning. 751 00:53:27,637 --> 00:53:30,037 Oh, you want to know why I returned to the clinic. 752 00:53:30,106 --> 00:53:32,768 Well, it's not me, ma'am, so much as my captain. 753 00:53:32,842 --> 00:53:34,332 He's a regular stickler. 754 00:53:34,411 --> 00:53:35,810 Well, as long as I had the time, 755 00:53:35,879 --> 00:53:37,779 I wanted to pick up a scientific paper. 756 00:53:37,847 --> 00:53:40,247 It was something that a colleague asked me to look at. 757 00:53:40,317 --> 00:53:42,547 So when you went back, that was just for a minute? 758 00:53:42,619 --> 00:53:43,813 Just for the paper. 759 00:53:43,887 --> 00:53:46,287 Well, the detail I wanted to ask you. 760 00:53:46,356 --> 00:53:49,257 The middle of the night, deserted streets... 761 00:53:49,326 --> 00:53:51,954 The security guard, he said that you came in one cab 762 00:53:52,028 --> 00:53:53,620 and you left in another. 763 00:53:53,697 --> 00:53:55,392 Why didn't you just ask the cab to wait? 764 00:53:55,465 --> 00:53:57,797 I did, Lieutenant, but the cab didn't wait, 765 00:53:57,867 --> 00:53:59,198 so I took another cab. 766 00:53:59,269 --> 00:54:01,999 Well, that's it, then. That explains it. 767 00:54:02,205 --> 00:54:03,797 Good night, ma'am. 768 00:54:09,012 --> 00:54:11,310 The cab left without being paid? 769 00:54:11,414 --> 00:54:13,905 I paid him, Lieutenant. That's how I got him to wait. 770 00:54:13,984 --> 00:54:15,451 But when I came out, 771 00:54:15,518 --> 00:54:16,644 he was gone. He was gone. 772 00:54:16,720 --> 00:54:19,518 Well, they're impatient, ma'am. 773 00:54:19,990 --> 00:54:21,617 Good night again. 774 00:55:22,686 --> 00:55:24,984 You better watch yourself, lady. 775 00:55:25,855 --> 00:55:28,119 You can handle the lieutenant. 776 00:55:29,025 --> 00:55:31,050 He's fired his best shots. 777 00:55:32,262 --> 00:55:34,787 You should have burned Lisa's clothes. 778 00:55:35,732 --> 00:55:37,029 We will. 779 00:55:38,134 --> 00:55:39,328 Not yet. 780 00:55:41,104 --> 00:55:42,230 Not yet. 781 00:55:46,576 --> 00:55:50,068 COLUMBO: Sergeant Burke! I need you, Sergeant. 782 00:55:50,146 --> 00:55:51,579 Yes, Lieutenant? 783 00:55:51,648 --> 00:55:53,343 Oh, there you are. You got the list? 784 00:55:53,416 --> 00:55:54,644 Yes, I have it here, Lieutenant. 785 00:55:54,718 --> 00:55:56,743 The master guest list? Right here, sir. 786 00:55:56,820 --> 00:55:59,311 I'll tell you what I want, Sergeant. Excuse me? 787 00:55:59,389 --> 00:56:01,118 What I want you to do, Sergeant. 788 00:56:01,191 --> 00:56:02,215 Yes, Lieutenant. 789 00:56:02,292 --> 00:56:03,850 Get all the help you can. 790 00:56:03,927 --> 00:56:05,895 Talk to that lady, Miss Hendrix. 791 00:56:05,962 --> 00:56:10,023 I want to know anyone that ever had any contact with the lady in black. 792 00:56:10,100 --> 00:56:12,830 Anyone that knew her, anyone that talked with her, 793 00:56:12,902 --> 00:56:16,565 anyone that ever had anything to do with the woman in black. 794 00:56:16,639 --> 00:56:17,867 The master list, right? 795 00:56:17,941 --> 00:56:19,408 Right. Right. 796 00:56:19,642 --> 00:56:21,542 How you doing, fellas? 797 00:56:23,046 --> 00:56:25,310 JOAN: All right, let's leave it at this. 798 00:56:25,382 --> 00:56:28,215 Bill and Joanne have been trying too hard, 799 00:56:28,284 --> 00:56:31,344 and Lloyd and Cynthia gave up trying sex altogether, 800 00:56:31,421 --> 00:56:33,912 which is against the rules, possibly against the law. 801 00:56:33,990 --> 00:56:35,457 (ALL LAUGHlNG) 802 00:56:36,092 --> 00:56:38,686 So, let's all be very sensible 803 00:56:38,762 --> 00:56:41,287 and try to decide what exactly... 804 00:56:41,364 --> 00:56:43,423 Dr. Allenby, can I see you? 805 00:56:46,002 --> 00:56:48,334 Excuse me. I'm afraid I'm busy, Lieutenant. 806 00:56:48,405 --> 00:56:49,599 Right. 807 00:56:51,474 --> 00:56:52,498 (DOOR CLOSES) 808 00:56:52,575 --> 00:56:53,906 So we want to decide... 809 00:56:53,977 --> 00:56:55,103 (KNOCKlNG AT DOOR) 810 00:56:58,114 --> 00:57:00,878 Would it be all right if I joined you, ma'am? 811 00:57:00,950 --> 00:57:02,577 Absolutely not. 812 00:57:03,720 --> 00:57:05,187 I understand. 813 00:57:30,713 --> 00:57:31,839 (SlGHS) 814 00:57:51,301 --> 00:57:53,701 Enjoying the mirror, Lieutenant? 815 00:57:53,770 --> 00:57:56,466 (CHUCKLlNG) It's a fantastic bed. 816 00:57:56,539 --> 00:57:57,870 Fantastic. 817 00:57:58,141 --> 00:58:00,371 Half the fun of sex is fantasy. 818 00:58:00,643 --> 00:58:03,703 Oh, I know that, ma'am. I've been reading your book. 819 00:58:03,780 --> 00:58:06,715 Well, now, I'm proud of you, Lieutenant. 820 00:58:06,783 --> 00:58:08,045 You wanted to see me? 821 00:58:08,117 --> 00:58:10,551 What it is, ma'am, it's the lady in black. 822 00:58:10,620 --> 00:58:13,521 And it's very baffling, the way she keeps changing. 823 00:58:13,590 --> 00:58:14,887 The gun dealer said... 824 00:58:14,958 --> 00:58:16,926 Oh, did I tell you that we found the gun? 825 00:58:16,993 --> 00:58:18,722 No, no. That must be important. 826 00:58:18,795 --> 00:58:22,060 Found the gun, ma'am, in a mailbox down the block. 827 00:58:22,131 --> 00:58:25,032 No fingerprints, but purchased on the day of the murder. 828 00:58:25,101 --> 00:58:26,295 Now, that's important. 829 00:58:26,369 --> 00:58:28,963 But I want you to read something important. Um... 830 00:58:31,140 --> 00:58:32,664 (MUTTERlNG) 831 00:58:33,977 --> 00:58:36,275 Oh, goodness. That's a parking ticket. 832 00:58:36,613 --> 00:58:38,444 Oh, that's not it. 833 00:58:39,482 --> 00:58:41,416 (MUTTERlNG) 834 00:58:41,551 --> 00:58:43,985 Keep forgetting that. 835 00:58:44,053 --> 00:58:46,044 Here... Here we are, ma'am. 836 00:58:46,122 --> 00:58:47,555 Uh... 837 00:58:47,957 --> 00:58:51,085 "Gun dealer said she gave name, Lisa Prescott. 838 00:58:51,160 --> 00:58:53,355 "Boys at vice never heard of Lisa Prescott. 839 00:58:53,429 --> 00:58:55,659 "Address, turned out no such..." 840 00:58:55,732 --> 00:58:58,030 Here. "Nervous." 841 00:58:58,468 --> 00:59:01,369 The gun dealer said she was very nervous. 842 00:59:01,437 --> 00:59:03,405 Nervous? Nervous, ma'am. 843 00:59:03,606 --> 00:59:07,337 Yes, well, I suppose that's a kind of a description. 844 00:59:07,410 --> 00:59:09,640 Oh, we got descriptions, ma'am. 845 00:59:09,779 --> 00:59:12,111 We've got plenty of descriptions. 846 00:59:12,181 --> 00:59:16,083 The night security guard, he said that she was shy, 847 00:59:16,653 --> 00:59:19,918 and the bartender at Buckets, 848 00:59:19,989 --> 00:59:22,719 he said that she was bold and confident. 849 00:59:23,259 --> 00:59:24,692 So what we're looking for, ma'am, 850 00:59:24,761 --> 00:59:30,529 is a shy, bold, nervous, confident lady in black. 851 00:59:30,600 --> 00:59:31,965 I see your problem, Lieutenant, 852 00:59:32,035 --> 00:59:34,003 and I don't envy you. 853 00:59:34,070 --> 00:59:35,662 Oh, and it gets worse, ma'am. 854 00:59:35,738 --> 00:59:39,265 Do you remember the cigarette, the one with the lipstick? 855 00:59:39,342 --> 00:59:40,604 Yes. There in the ashtray. 856 00:59:40,677 --> 00:59:41,701 Yes, ma'am. 857 00:59:41,778 --> 00:59:44,246 The lab boys, they ran a new test 858 00:59:44,314 --> 00:59:46,578 on the saliva from the cigarette. 859 00:59:46,649 --> 00:59:49,982 Just from the saliva, they can tell you all about a person. 860 00:59:50,053 --> 00:59:54,786 And from their report, whoever smoked that cigarette, 861 00:59:55,658 --> 01:00:00,118 she had a completely different blood type 862 01:00:01,097 --> 01:00:04,032 than the blood from these spots here. 863 01:00:06,002 --> 01:00:07,799 But the blood spots, 864 01:00:08,404 --> 01:00:12,170 that's a whole different type blood than the victim's blood. 865 01:00:12,508 --> 01:00:14,976 That means three people in the room. 866 01:00:15,745 --> 01:00:18,475 Do you think there could have been 867 01:00:18,548 --> 01:00:21,813 two women with Mr. Kincaid on the night of the murder? 868 01:00:21,884 --> 01:00:23,909 Two women, Lieutenant? I... 869 01:00:24,587 --> 01:00:26,077 I don't know what to say. 870 01:00:26,155 --> 01:00:28,180 And then we have to consider this. 871 01:00:28,257 --> 01:00:33,217 Those two long black hairs that we found on the victim, very feminine, ma'am. 872 01:00:33,463 --> 01:00:36,227 The lab boys think maybe an Asian woman. 873 01:00:36,299 --> 01:00:40,133 And it turns out that the blood type from these two hairs, 874 01:00:40,503 --> 01:00:43,495 that's a whole new different type blood. 875 01:00:44,841 --> 01:00:48,675 Would that mean there were three women with Mr. Kincaid? 876 01:00:48,745 --> 01:00:50,610 You mean a sex orgy, Lieutenant? 877 01:00:50,680 --> 01:00:53,615 I suppose with a man like David, 878 01:00:53,683 --> 01:00:54,775 everything I'm learning about him, 879 01:00:54,851 --> 01:00:57,342 yes, I suppose that's completely possible. 880 01:00:57,420 --> 01:00:58,751 Right. 881 01:00:58,821 --> 01:01:02,120 But that brings us back again to that security guard. 882 01:01:04,794 --> 01:01:08,423 He said only one woman came up here. 883 01:01:09,499 --> 01:01:10,625 Do you think they could have come 884 01:01:10,700 --> 01:01:12,327 from other offices in the same building? 885 01:01:12,402 --> 01:01:13,733 No, ma'am, the security guard, 886 01:01:13,803 --> 01:01:16,704 he checked out everybody from the building. 887 01:01:16,773 --> 01:01:18,798 I don't know what to think, Lieutenant. 888 01:01:18,875 --> 01:01:20,536 You've got my head spinning. 889 01:01:20,610 --> 01:01:22,942 Well, but when you get right down to it, ma'am, 890 01:01:23,012 --> 01:01:26,448 only one woman came in, and only one woman went out. 891 01:01:26,516 --> 01:01:28,643 And whatever all this means, 892 01:01:28,718 --> 01:01:31,312 we have to look for the lady in black. 893 01:01:31,821 --> 01:01:34,551 And when we find her, I promise you, 894 01:01:35,358 --> 01:01:37,758 you're gonna be the first to know. 895 01:01:37,827 --> 01:01:39,454 Good day. 896 01:01:49,338 --> 01:01:50,862 Oh, Lieutenant? 897 01:01:51,307 --> 01:01:52,535 Dr. Ward. 898 01:01:52,608 --> 01:01:54,041 Do you have a minute for me? 899 01:01:54,110 --> 01:01:55,168 Of course, sir. 900 01:01:55,244 --> 01:01:56,973 We can talk in here. 901 01:02:05,254 --> 01:02:07,381 I have something to confess. 902 01:02:08,691 --> 01:02:11,023 Sex is my whole life, Lieutenant. 903 01:02:11,828 --> 01:02:14,228 Oh, my goodness. 904 01:02:14,297 --> 01:02:15,525 My life. 905 01:02:16,499 --> 01:02:17,830 My therapy. 906 01:02:18,935 --> 01:02:20,163 My work. 907 01:02:21,904 --> 01:02:27,467 My frigid women, my prostitutes, my premature men. 908 01:02:29,078 --> 01:02:31,171 It's a very full life, sir. 909 01:02:32,548 --> 01:02:34,607 Odd sexual events. 910 01:02:38,855 --> 01:02:40,550 What do you think of this? 911 01:02:41,190 --> 01:02:42,851 A red ribbon, sir? 912 01:02:43,359 --> 01:02:45,554 A red hair ribbon, Lieutenant. 913 01:02:46,262 --> 01:02:49,254 Like Cindy Galt wears, Dr. Allenby's assistant. 914 01:02:49,332 --> 01:02:50,765 Is that an odd event, sir? 915 01:02:50,833 --> 01:02:52,562 It's a sexual event. 916 01:02:52,635 --> 01:02:54,500 I found this the other morning 917 01:02:54,570 --> 01:02:56,936 in our bedroom therapy facility. 918 01:02:57,006 --> 01:02:59,099 No patients had been scheduled, 919 01:02:59,175 --> 01:03:01,302 but the bed had been used. 920 01:03:02,378 --> 01:03:05,506 See, that's the kind of behavior we've had around here. 921 01:03:05,581 --> 01:03:08,607 And I put that down to David Kincaid's influence. 922 01:03:08,684 --> 01:03:09,708 You do, sir? 923 01:03:09,786 --> 01:03:11,947 I didn't like David Kincaid, 924 01:03:12,188 --> 01:03:14,679 and I loathed his influence on Dr. Allenby. 925 01:03:14,757 --> 01:03:17,726 His cheap crusade to turn sex 926 01:03:17,794 --> 01:03:21,355 into something trivial and popular. 927 01:03:21,564 --> 01:03:24,465 Yeah, right. Popular sex, that's something... 928 01:03:24,534 --> 01:03:27,128 We certainly gotta watch out for that. 929 01:03:28,538 --> 01:03:31,371 You were saying something about a confession? 930 01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:34,876 Right. I confess that I despised David, 931 01:03:35,378 --> 01:03:38,074 but I want you to know that I didn't have anything to do with his murder. 932 01:03:38,481 --> 01:03:40,073 I'm glad you told me, sir, 933 01:03:40,149 --> 01:03:43,812 so I don't get you all confused with the lady in black. 934 01:03:44,353 --> 01:03:46,719 This has been very interesting. 935 01:03:51,594 --> 01:03:53,824 Oh, Lieutenant, one more thing. 936 01:03:54,797 --> 01:03:57,527 Do you think this is the right time for me 937 01:03:57,600 --> 01:04:00,831 to advise Dr. Allenby that she's well rid of David? 938 01:04:02,138 --> 01:04:04,003 You're asking me, sir? 939 01:04:04,140 --> 01:04:06,165 Well, you seem very wise. 940 01:04:09,011 --> 01:04:10,740 Well, Dr. Ward, 941 01:04:11,581 --> 01:04:15,483 if I were you, I'd try to do the right thing. 942 01:04:18,020 --> 01:04:20,716 Yes. Of course. 943 01:04:21,324 --> 01:04:24,054 That's very good, Lieutenant. Thank you. 944 01:04:25,328 --> 01:04:27,023 I'll see you later. 945 01:04:31,634 --> 01:04:32,623 (SlGHS) 946 01:04:36,772 --> 01:04:39,172 Oh, Lieutenant Columbo? Dr. Neff. 947 01:04:39,442 --> 01:04:41,103 Do you have a minute? 948 01:04:41,177 --> 01:04:42,701 Anytime, sir. 949 01:04:48,150 --> 01:04:52,314 Lieutenant, I know you've heard all the rumors running around this place. 950 01:04:52,388 --> 01:04:54,447 I mean, about Dr. Ward getting nowhere 951 01:04:54,523 --> 01:04:56,650 with his crush on Cindy Galt. 952 01:04:57,860 --> 01:05:01,762 And Cindy ducking out for cocktails with David Kincaid. 953 01:05:04,200 --> 01:05:08,364 And you must have heard about how I feel about Dr. Allenby. 954 01:05:12,575 --> 01:05:15,976 No, I don't seem to have that here. 955 01:05:16,312 --> 01:05:19,839 I've been crazy about her ever since I joined the clinic. 956 01:05:20,483 --> 01:05:23,111 And I was deeply jealous of David, 957 01:05:23,419 --> 01:05:25,717 but I had nothing whatsoever to do with his murder. 958 01:05:25,788 --> 01:05:26,812 I want you to know that. 959 01:05:26,889 --> 01:05:28,015 Right. 960 01:05:28,724 --> 01:05:30,919 No connection with the murder. 961 01:05:32,929 --> 01:05:34,328 Lieutenant, 962 01:05:36,365 --> 01:05:39,459 with all your experience out there in the world 963 01:05:40,870 --> 01:05:43,134 and in view of what's happened, 964 01:05:46,008 --> 01:05:47,942 how long would you advise me to wait 965 01:05:48,010 --> 01:05:50,774 before telling Joan I'm in love with her? 966 01:05:55,718 --> 01:05:57,515 If I were you, sir, 967 01:05:58,554 --> 01:06:02,354 I would wait until the lady's ready and not a moment longer. 968 01:06:04,460 --> 01:06:06,087 Of course. 969 01:06:08,397 --> 01:06:11,798 I should have been able to figure that out for myself. 970 01:06:13,002 --> 01:06:14,867 Thank you, Lieutenant. 971 01:06:24,680 --> 01:06:27,581 Oh, Lieutenant, do you have a moment for me? 972 01:06:28,484 --> 01:06:32,511 Even though I am going back for my master's in psychiatric social work, 973 01:06:32,588 --> 01:06:35,182 I love working for Dr. Allenby. 974 01:06:36,892 --> 01:06:38,883 And David Kincaid, he was, 975 01:06:40,763 --> 01:06:42,594 Iike, coming on to me. 976 01:06:42,665 --> 01:06:43,859 I mean, in a very nice way. 977 01:06:43,933 --> 01:06:45,662 I mean, he was always a perfect gentleman, 978 01:06:45,735 --> 01:06:48,795 and, of course, I would never, never do anything to hurt Joan. 979 01:06:50,072 --> 01:06:51,972 So, there's my problem. 980 01:06:52,708 --> 01:06:55,472 You'll have to clarify that for me, ma'am. 981 01:06:57,346 --> 01:06:59,371 Well, after what happened, 982 01:06:59,849 --> 01:07:02,010 if I'm going to be loyal to Joan, 983 01:07:02,084 --> 01:07:05,520 should I ever tell her about David's crush on me? 984 01:07:06,789 --> 01:07:10,623 In my opinion, and not speaking strictly as a detective, 985 01:07:11,527 --> 01:07:17,022 sometimes kindness is wiser than truth. 986 01:07:18,701 --> 01:07:20,032 Of course. 987 01:07:21,537 --> 01:07:24,097 I think I know exactly what you mean. 988 01:07:29,578 --> 01:07:31,671 I knew I could talk to you. 989 01:07:32,782 --> 01:07:34,647 Thank you, Lieutenant. 990 01:07:39,088 --> 01:07:40,612 (DOOR CLOSES) 991 01:07:45,294 --> 01:07:46,454 Got a minute, Lieutenant? 992 01:07:52,368 --> 01:07:53,562 We did it. 993 01:07:54,070 --> 01:07:56,732 Now, just one second, sir, hold the phone. 994 01:07:56,806 --> 01:07:58,797 Let me get this straight. 995 01:07:59,041 --> 01:08:02,010 The lady in black, she went in there. 996 01:08:02,344 --> 01:08:04,869 She went in that door right there. 997 01:08:04,947 --> 01:08:06,710 She went in, and she never came out. 998 01:08:06,782 --> 01:08:08,010 And you waited. 999 01:08:08,084 --> 01:08:10,416 Until I asked the attendant to go see if she was in there. 1000 01:08:10,486 --> 01:08:12,454 And she wasn't there. Nobody was there. 1001 01:08:12,521 --> 01:08:13,510 Who came out? 1002 01:08:13,589 --> 01:08:16,387 How do I know, Lieutenant? Ladies went in, ladies came out. 1003 01:08:16,459 --> 01:08:17,790 Just ordinary ladies? 1004 01:08:17,860 --> 01:08:19,088 Ordinary ladies. 1005 01:08:19,161 --> 01:08:20,753 Ordinary ladies. 1006 01:08:21,097 --> 01:08:23,964 Did any of these ladies have a suitcase, a package? 1007 01:08:24,033 --> 01:08:26,365 Were they carrying a bag, something like that? I don't know, Lieutenant. 1008 01:08:26,435 --> 01:08:27,925 I wasn't looking for bags or packages. 1009 01:08:28,003 --> 01:08:30,335 I was waiting for this very exotic brunette. 1010 01:08:30,406 --> 01:08:32,306 Miss Hendrix, please, ma'am. Yes, Lieutenant. 1011 01:08:32,374 --> 01:08:33,898 Thank you very much, Mr. Lenz. 1012 01:08:33,976 --> 01:08:35,273 Just check with Sergeant Burke. 1013 01:08:35,344 --> 01:08:37,642 Keep him informed as to your whereabouts. 1014 01:08:37,713 --> 01:08:39,943 Ma'am, I'm gonna have to go in there. 1015 01:08:40,015 --> 01:08:41,642 Would you guard the door, ma'am? 1016 01:08:41,717 --> 01:08:42,741 The ladies' room? 1017 01:08:42,818 --> 01:08:44,285 But it's almost intermission, Lieutenant. 1018 01:08:44,353 --> 01:08:46,287 Just one minute, ma'am. One minute. 1019 01:08:46,355 --> 01:08:48,915 Oh, but... Well, l... Oh... 1020 01:08:50,359 --> 01:08:51,621 Oh, dear. 1021 01:08:53,929 --> 01:08:55,726 (MUSlC ENDlNG) 1022 01:08:56,799 --> 01:08:58,630 (PEOPLE APPLAUDlNG) 1023 01:09:44,880 --> 01:09:46,575 (PEOPLE CHATTERlNG) 1024 01:09:46,649 --> 01:09:48,048 Lieutenant! 1025 01:09:48,617 --> 01:09:51,279 What was he doing in there? I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm sorry. 1026 01:09:51,353 --> 01:09:52,684 You ought to be ashamed. I'm very sorry. 1027 01:09:52,755 --> 01:09:54,450 (ALL CHATTERlNG) Excuse me. Excuse me. 1028 01:09:54,523 --> 01:09:57,720 You have a lot of nerve! No. I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. Excuse me. 1029 01:09:57,793 --> 01:09:59,590 I'm sorry, forgive me. 1030 01:09:59,662 --> 01:10:00,754 Sir? 1031 01:10:22,218 --> 01:10:26,655 (WOMAN SPEAKlNG RUSSlAN) 1032 01:10:26,855 --> 01:10:30,222 Excuse me, ma'am, trash? Where do you dump the trash? 1033 01:10:30,292 --> 01:10:32,089 (SPEAKlNG ANGRlLY lN RUSSlAN) 1034 01:10:32,161 --> 01:10:34,129 No, no, no, police, ma'am, police, police. 1035 01:10:34,196 --> 01:10:35,288 See? Hey, police. 1036 01:10:35,364 --> 01:10:36,353 (EXCLAlMlNG) 1037 01:10:36,432 --> 01:10:37,592 See, police! 1038 01:10:38,500 --> 01:10:40,559 Trash... Trash... Where? 1039 01:10:41,070 --> 01:10:43,402 See, where do you dump the trash? 1040 01:10:43,472 --> 01:10:45,497 No, no, no, no, no! No, the trash! 1041 01:10:45,574 --> 01:10:47,599 Where do you put the trash? 1042 01:10:47,676 --> 01:10:48,665 (SPEAKlNG RUSSlAN) 1043 01:10:48,777 --> 01:10:50,745 No, no, no, no! Trash! Where's the trash? 1044 01:10:50,813 --> 01:10:54,146 No, no, no, no, no, ma'am. No cleaning. No, no, no. 1045 01:10:54,216 --> 01:10:57,583 No cleaning. See, empty. No, the trash. 1046 01:10:57,653 --> 01:10:59,211 The big trash. 1047 01:10:59,755 --> 01:11:03,054 No, no. The trash, ma'am. See? Trash. Trash! 1048 01:11:03,125 --> 01:11:04,820 (STAMMERlNG) 1049 01:11:04,927 --> 01:11:07,088 (SPEAKlNG RUSSlAN) 1050 01:11:07,263 --> 01:11:10,027 See, nyet, nyet, nyet. 1051 01:11:10,099 --> 01:11:12,727 Drop off, pick up, and... Grande... 1052 01:11:12,835 --> 01:11:14,826 (SPEAKlNG RUSSlAN) 1053 01:11:15,237 --> 01:11:16,864 No, no, no, no, ma'am, no. 1054 01:11:16,939 --> 01:11:19,669 Grande, grande, trash grande. 1055 01:11:30,319 --> 01:11:35,086 (SCOLDlNG lN RUSSlAN) 1056 01:11:44,500 --> 01:11:46,434 (ASKlNG QUESTlON lN RUSSlAN) 1057 01:11:47,436 --> 01:11:50,030 That's it! I found it! 1058 01:11:50,372 --> 01:11:54,866 (EXCLAlMlNG HAPPlLY lN RUSSlAN) 1059 01:11:56,111 --> 01:11:57,738 You're a very nice lady. 1060 01:11:57,813 --> 01:11:59,246 (EXCLAlMlNG) 1061 01:11:59,481 --> 01:12:01,244 (GlGGLlNG) 1062 01:12:06,355 --> 01:12:09,324 Do svidaniya, police boy. 1063 01:12:27,276 --> 01:12:28,334 (GASPS) 1064 01:12:29,812 --> 01:12:31,006 Hello. 1065 01:12:32,448 --> 01:12:33,710 Who are you? 1066 01:12:33,782 --> 01:12:36,114 COLUMBO: Well, here you are, Dr. Allenby. 1067 01:12:36,418 --> 01:12:39,387 I took the liberty of inviting Mr. Lenz to your home. 1068 01:12:39,455 --> 01:12:41,855 Your housekeeper was kind enough to let us in. 1069 01:12:41,924 --> 01:12:45,416 Mr. Lenz, this is the remarkable lady I was telling you about. 1070 01:12:45,494 --> 01:12:47,758 Yes, thank you very much for having us, Dr. Allenby. 1071 01:12:47,830 --> 01:12:50,799 Mr. Lenz, he would like to sit down and talk with you, ma'am, 1072 01:12:50,866 --> 01:12:52,561 if you don't mind. 1073 01:12:53,635 --> 01:12:55,034 My pleasure. 1074 01:12:55,671 --> 01:12:57,502 Come along, gentlemen. 1075 01:13:00,109 --> 01:13:02,543 Can you give me a hint about all this, Lieutenant? 1076 01:13:02,611 --> 01:13:03,908 Well, I'm back in trouble, ma'am. 1077 01:13:03,979 --> 01:13:06,311 This Lisa, this lady in black. 1078 01:13:06,615 --> 01:13:09,175 I got 56 vice boys out in the street. 1079 01:13:09,251 --> 01:13:10,912 They're looking, they're pumping. 1080 01:13:10,986 --> 01:13:13,750 I got another eight doing nothing but sifting files. 1081 01:13:13,822 --> 01:13:16,586 We're chasing courtesans up and down the scale. 1082 01:13:16,658 --> 01:13:17,682 Please make yourselves comfortable. 1083 01:13:17,760 --> 01:13:20,228 You know what I got out of all this? 1084 01:13:20,295 --> 01:13:21,728 I got depressed. 1085 01:13:21,797 --> 01:13:23,321 It's not just nobody knows anything, 1086 01:13:23,399 --> 01:13:25,594 nobody even suspects anything. 1087 01:13:25,667 --> 01:13:27,635 Now I run into Mr. Lenz here. 1088 01:13:27,703 --> 01:13:30,604 He tells me his story. I don't what to make of it. 1089 01:13:30,672 --> 01:13:32,196 I got all turned around. 1090 01:13:32,274 --> 01:13:34,970 I want you to listen to this man's story. 1091 01:13:35,043 --> 01:13:36,305 Mr. Lenz? 1092 01:13:37,012 --> 01:13:38,240 Well, I went to the Music Center the other night... 1093 01:13:38,313 --> 01:13:40,679 Could I bring you something to drink? 1094 01:13:40,749 --> 01:13:43,217 Sure. Could you manage some sparkling mineral water? 1095 01:13:43,385 --> 01:13:45,376 I think so. Same for you, Lieutenant? 1096 01:13:45,454 --> 01:13:48,787 Oh, no, thank you, ma'am. I'll just have some seltzer. 1097 01:13:48,857 --> 01:13:50,882 I think I can manage that, too. 1098 01:13:50,959 --> 01:13:53,484 Mr. Lenz, please, tell me your story. 1099 01:13:53,829 --> 01:13:55,854 Well, I can only tell you what I told Lieutenant Columbo. 1100 01:13:55,931 --> 01:13:57,922 Oh, that'll be fine, sir. 1101 01:13:58,534 --> 01:14:02,368 LENZ: Well, I met her, you know, this lady in black with the man's hat. 1102 01:14:02,438 --> 01:14:04,133 It was at the Music Center affair. 1103 01:14:04,206 --> 01:14:05,901 I understand you were there. 1104 01:14:05,974 --> 01:14:07,532 I was. Ice? 1105 01:14:07,910 --> 01:14:09,138 Please. 1106 01:14:09,645 --> 01:14:11,272 Well, I saw her, 1107 01:14:11,780 --> 01:14:13,680 and I have this obligation. 1108 01:14:13,749 --> 01:14:16,081 Whenever I see an attractive lady, 1109 01:14:16,151 --> 01:14:18,551 I feel like it's my duty to meet her. 1110 01:14:18,620 --> 01:14:20,918 So I tried. No encouragement. 1111 01:14:21,790 --> 01:14:23,690 So I followed her. 1112 01:14:23,759 --> 01:14:24,953 Where? 1113 01:14:25,327 --> 01:14:26,988 To the ladies' room. 1114 01:14:27,062 --> 01:14:28,825 To the ladies' room? 1115 01:14:29,565 --> 01:14:31,362 Turned out to be the waiting room. 1116 01:14:31,433 --> 01:14:33,560 I mean, she went inside, and I waited outside. 1117 01:14:33,635 --> 01:14:35,398 You're a romantic, Mr. Lenz. 1118 01:14:35,471 --> 01:14:36,529 (SlGH) 1119 01:14:36,605 --> 01:14:39,233 Yes, I am. Excellent diagnosis, Doctor. 1120 01:14:39,641 --> 01:14:41,541 Anyway, I waited, 1121 01:14:41,877 --> 01:14:43,037 and she never came out. 1122 01:14:43,111 --> 01:14:45,306 Tell her about the attendant. 1123 01:14:45,414 --> 01:14:47,006 At the end of the evening, I asked the attendant 1124 01:14:47,082 --> 01:14:49,414 to go inside and check it out for me, 1125 01:14:49,485 --> 01:14:51,009 and there was nobody there. 1126 01:14:51,086 --> 01:14:52,314 Nobody. 1127 01:14:52,387 --> 01:14:53,945 LENZ: The lady vanishes. 1128 01:14:54,022 --> 01:14:55,080 Into thin air? 1129 01:14:55,157 --> 01:14:57,148 No air at all. She's just gone. 1130 01:14:57,226 --> 01:15:00,423 Now, what do you think about a thing like that, ma'am? 1131 01:15:00,496 --> 01:15:02,191 Were you drinking, Mr. Lenz? 1132 01:15:02,264 --> 01:15:04,357 Not a drop. Just champagne. 1133 01:15:05,033 --> 01:15:06,967 And the lady never came out. 1134 01:15:07,035 --> 01:15:09,367 You see what we got here now, ma'am? 1135 01:15:09,438 --> 01:15:12,635 We were talking one lady, two ladies, three ladies. 1136 01:15:12,908 --> 01:15:16,002 Now I got a half a lady, the half that went in. 1137 01:15:16,078 --> 01:15:17,477 The other half, I don't know. 1138 01:15:21,083 --> 01:15:23,074 Thanks again, Dr. Allenby. 1139 01:15:23,151 --> 01:15:24,277 I'll wait for you, Lieutenant. 1140 01:15:24,353 --> 01:15:27,322 Goodbye, Mr. Lenz. Your story was very amusing. 1141 01:15:29,491 --> 01:15:31,584 But I just can't take it seriously, Lieutenant. 1142 01:15:31,660 --> 01:15:33,651 Well, that's what we got, ma'am. 1143 01:15:33,729 --> 01:15:36,857 A good detective, even a medium detective, 1144 01:15:37,065 --> 01:15:40,523 he can find somebody who was there and bring you an answer. 1145 01:15:40,602 --> 01:15:42,797 But somebody who wasn't there? 1146 01:15:42,938 --> 01:15:44,872 How can I deal with that? 1147 01:15:44,940 --> 01:15:46,635 I can't imagine, Lieutenant. 1148 01:15:46,708 --> 01:15:49,233 This Lisa, people tell stories, 1149 01:15:49,778 --> 01:15:52,372 but there's no trace she ever existed. 1150 01:15:52,781 --> 01:15:55,841 Maybe we got this wrong, the way we're looking at it. 1151 01:15:55,918 --> 01:15:57,886 Looking at it all wrong. 1152 01:15:58,487 --> 01:16:01,684 Well, I'm working, ma'am. I'm still out there. 1153 01:16:01,757 --> 01:16:04,055 I appreciate everything you're doing, Lieutenant. 1154 01:16:04,126 --> 01:16:05,320 You'll see me again, ma'am. 1155 01:16:05,394 --> 01:16:06,986 I'm sure I will. 1156 01:16:15,103 --> 01:16:16,900 (PEOPLE CHATTERlNG) 1157 01:16:20,409 --> 01:16:22,001 (SCREAMS) 1158 01:16:22,144 --> 01:16:23,907 WOMAN: Drinks are on Lisa! 1159 01:16:23,979 --> 01:16:25,913 Lisa buys the drinks! 1160 01:16:34,590 --> 01:16:36,717 Take care of my new friends. 1161 01:16:36,925 --> 01:16:38,722 And this is for you. 1162 01:16:39,828 --> 01:16:40,886 For what? 1163 01:16:40,963 --> 01:16:42,624 Just a phone call. 1164 01:16:43,332 --> 01:16:45,266 To a man named Columbo. 1165 01:16:46,234 --> 01:16:48,930 This is the number, this is the message. 1166 01:16:49,004 --> 01:16:51,632 "Sorry about what happened," signed, "Lisa." 1167 01:16:51,707 --> 01:16:53,265 And that's it? 1168 01:16:53,342 --> 01:16:54,570 Do you think you can do that for me? 1169 01:16:54,643 --> 01:16:56,167 (CHUCKLES) 1170 01:16:58,580 --> 01:17:00,138 All right, here you go. 1171 01:17:00,215 --> 01:17:01,341 Thanks. 1172 01:17:06,521 --> 01:17:08,182 (PEOPLE CHEERlNG) 1173 01:17:59,508 --> 01:18:01,806 (PHONE RlNGlNG) 1174 01:18:13,622 --> 01:18:14,680 Dr. Allenby. 1175 01:18:14,756 --> 01:18:17,190 Good evening, Dr. Allenby. It's Sergeant Burke. 1176 01:18:17,259 --> 01:18:20,251 Lieutenant Columbo asked me to tell you he has very good news. 1177 01:18:20,328 --> 01:18:22,523 He's found the lady in black. 1178 01:18:23,231 --> 01:18:24,596 Dr. Allenby? 1179 01:18:26,134 --> 01:18:27,396 (STAMMERlNG) 1180 01:18:28,303 --> 01:18:29,600 Where did you find her? 1181 01:18:29,671 --> 01:18:32,003 He said it was right in your own office files, ma'am. 1182 01:18:32,074 --> 01:18:33,666 Your research files. 1183 01:18:33,742 --> 01:18:36,336 The Lieutenant said he wants you to know that. 1184 01:18:36,411 --> 01:18:38,436 Good night, Dr. Allenby. 1185 01:19:22,290 --> 01:19:24,019 (PHONE RlNGlNG) 1186 01:19:27,796 --> 01:19:29,855 (MAN MURMURlNG) 1187 01:19:47,983 --> 01:19:48,972 COLUMBO: Over here, ma'am. 1188 01:19:49,050 --> 01:19:50,142 (GASPS) 1189 01:19:50,218 --> 01:19:51,378 I'm sorry, Doctor. 1190 01:19:51,453 --> 01:19:53,216 I didn't mean to frighten you like that. 1191 01:19:53,288 --> 01:19:55,415 I thought I heard voices. I... 1192 01:19:55,490 --> 01:19:56,980 Oh, that'd be me, ma'am. 1193 01:19:57,058 --> 01:19:59,652 I was talking on the phone with Sergeant Burke. 1194 01:19:59,728 --> 01:20:01,855 He was supposed to ask you to join me here, 1195 01:20:01,930 --> 01:20:03,261 and he forgot to say that. 1196 01:20:03,331 --> 01:20:05,697 But I'm glad you came anyway. 1197 01:20:05,767 --> 01:20:07,359 Why did you come here, ma'am? 1198 01:20:07,435 --> 01:20:10,529 Certainly not to be frightened out of my wits, Lieutenant. 1199 01:20:10,605 --> 01:20:12,766 Sergeant Burke called and told me that you'd found Lisa 1200 01:20:12,841 --> 01:20:14,240 in one of my files. 1201 01:20:14,309 --> 01:20:15,799 I came to see for myself. 1202 01:20:15,877 --> 01:20:17,504 (CHUCKLlNG) Well. 1203 01:20:17,712 --> 01:20:19,805 There he goes again, ma'am. 1204 01:20:20,482 --> 01:20:23,542 Sergeant Burke, he's a very fine young detective, 1205 01:20:23,618 --> 01:20:26,416 but we all make mistakes from time to time. 1206 01:20:26,488 --> 01:20:28,683 What I asked him to tell you, 1207 01:20:28,757 --> 01:20:33,160 it was as if she had been in your own files all the time. 1208 01:20:33,228 --> 01:20:36,425 No, no, I certainly couldn't find her here, Doctor. 1209 01:20:36,531 --> 01:20:38,795 Not even in "odd sexual events." 1210 01:20:40,635 --> 01:20:42,398 How did you find her? 1211 01:20:43,505 --> 01:20:46,941 Oh, for that, ma'am, we have to go to the therapy room. 1212 01:20:47,142 --> 01:20:49,201 To the therapy room, ma'am. 1213 01:20:52,647 --> 01:20:55,514 This Lisa, this lady in black, 1214 01:20:55,784 --> 01:20:58,776 I've been getting some very strange messages from her, ma'am. 1215 01:20:58,854 --> 01:20:59,912 Messages? 1216 01:20:59,988 --> 01:21:01,478 She's sorry she did what she did. 1217 01:21:01,556 --> 01:21:03,285 She had to do what she did, 1218 01:21:03,358 --> 01:21:05,189 and now she's leaving town. 1219 01:21:05,260 --> 01:21:07,285 But she hasn't left town yet. 1220 01:21:07,362 --> 01:21:11,162 And I think she's been trying to fool us about a lot of things. 1221 01:21:11,233 --> 01:21:13,326 For instance, this ashtray. 1222 01:21:13,501 --> 01:21:15,731 Would you look at this ashtray? 1223 01:21:15,971 --> 01:21:20,533 To a detective, this is a fascinating ashtray. 1224 01:21:21,042 --> 01:21:22,805 I mean, what's in it. 1225 01:21:23,178 --> 01:21:26,773 That's exactly what we found the morning after the murder. 1226 01:21:26,848 --> 01:21:29,976 I put everything back just the way it was. 1227 01:21:30,619 --> 01:21:34,385 She was a smoker, ma'am. The bartender said she was a smoker. 1228 01:21:35,090 --> 01:21:38,321 And you see that? You see that burned match? 1229 01:21:38,393 --> 01:21:39,883 Yes, I can see the match, Lieutenant. 1230 01:21:39,961 --> 01:21:42,725 And the cigarette stub, and only a few ashes? 1231 01:21:42,797 --> 01:21:45,061 Do you see how puzzling that is? 1232 01:21:45,133 --> 01:21:47,328 No. I see a burned match and half a cigarette. 1233 01:21:47,402 --> 01:21:49,302 And a few ashes. And a few ashes. 1234 01:21:49,371 --> 01:21:52,738 But not enough to account for a whole cigarette, ma'am. 1235 01:21:52,807 --> 01:21:54,775 A whole cigarette, ma'am, 1236 01:21:55,677 --> 01:21:58,043 that produces this amount of ash. 1237 01:21:59,147 --> 01:22:01,775 You know what that weighs? I weighed that, ma'am. 1238 01:22:01,850 --> 01:22:04,182 That's 500 milligrams. 1239 01:22:04,719 --> 01:22:07,882 And the ashes in the tray, that's 48 milligrams. 1240 01:22:08,290 --> 01:22:10,155 All right, make it 50. 1241 01:22:10,225 --> 01:22:13,388 We're still missing 450 milligrams, ma'am. 1242 01:22:13,461 --> 01:22:15,520 That's very scientific, Lieutenant. 1243 01:22:15,597 --> 01:22:18,088 But she might have smoked the cigarette someplace else. 1244 01:22:18,166 --> 01:22:20,293 But here's the match, ma'am. 1245 01:22:21,069 --> 01:22:24,334 Like she lit and smoked it right here in this room. 1246 01:22:24,706 --> 01:22:27,106 And there's no ashes on the table, 1247 01:22:27,375 --> 01:22:29,605 and there's no ashes under the table, 1248 01:22:29,678 --> 01:22:32,169 and there's not enough ashes in the ashtray. 1249 01:22:32,247 --> 01:22:33,236 You'll forgive me, Lieutenant, 1250 01:22:33,315 --> 01:22:35,510 if I'm not quite as fascinated by this as you are. 1251 01:22:35,583 --> 01:22:40,043 Well, ma'am, even ashes, they don't just fly away and vanish. 1252 01:22:40,789 --> 01:22:44,520 The hair and fiber boys, I had them vacuum this whole room. 1253 01:22:45,527 --> 01:22:47,188 No cigarette ashes. 1254 01:22:47,262 --> 01:22:48,490 And what do you detect, Lieutenant, 1255 01:22:48,563 --> 01:22:50,861 from the infamous missing ashes? 1256 01:22:51,166 --> 01:22:54,067 Oh, yes, you said that Lisa was trying to fool us. 1257 01:22:54,135 --> 01:22:56,899 Like she was setting a scene, ma'am, yes. 1258 01:22:57,005 --> 01:22:58,802 Like this whole room, 1259 01:23:00,075 --> 01:23:03,203 Iike it was some kind of a stage, 1260 01:23:04,012 --> 01:23:06,640 making us think she was something she isn't. 1261 01:23:06,715 --> 01:23:08,307 Is that a possibility? 1262 01:23:08,383 --> 01:23:10,715 Lieutenant, you still haven't told me how you found her. 1263 01:23:10,785 --> 01:23:15,279 Well, I've only received messages from her, ma'am. I haven't seen her yet. 1264 01:23:15,357 --> 01:23:17,518 With your permission, Doctor. 1265 01:23:19,461 --> 01:23:22,294 And now we have to consider the victim's keys. 1266 01:23:22,364 --> 01:23:24,025 His missing keys. 1267 01:23:24,532 --> 01:23:26,329 No matter how you look at it, 1268 01:23:26,401 --> 01:23:28,631 it always comes out the same. 1269 01:23:28,970 --> 01:23:32,235 If Mr. Kincaid didn't have the key to open the door, 1270 01:23:32,307 --> 01:23:36,209 then the lady in black, she must have been the one with the key. 1271 01:23:37,912 --> 01:23:40,676 So now we have to face that as a fact. 1272 01:23:40,749 --> 01:23:43,274 And I know you're thinking the same thing I am. 1273 01:23:43,351 --> 01:23:47,185 Lisa, she had to be someone connected with your own clinic. 1274 01:23:47,322 --> 01:23:49,722 That's totally ludicrous, Lieutenant. 1275 01:23:49,791 --> 01:23:52,123 Unless Lisa could have been the cleaning lady. 1276 01:23:52,193 --> 01:23:54,423 Do you think that's a possibility? 1277 01:23:54,496 --> 01:23:55,793 I doubt it, ma'am. 1278 01:23:55,864 --> 01:23:57,491 (PHONE RlNGlNG) 1279 01:23:57,699 --> 01:24:00,566 Is that your phone? That could be important. 1280 01:24:02,871 --> 01:24:04,133 I'll see. 1281 01:24:04,939 --> 01:24:07,840 Ma'am, the lady in black, 1282 01:24:07,909 --> 01:24:09,467 she might be coming here tonight. 1283 01:24:09,544 --> 01:24:12,274 Did I tell you she might be coming here? 1284 01:24:12,647 --> 01:24:13,671 No. 1285 01:24:14,149 --> 01:24:16,242 The phone. That may be her. 1286 01:24:30,565 --> 01:24:32,226 Hello? Dr. Allenby? 1287 01:24:32,300 --> 01:24:33,790 Yes. This is Sergeant Burke. 1288 01:24:33,868 --> 01:24:36,359 I wonder if I could talk to the lieutenant. 1289 01:24:36,438 --> 01:24:38,702 It's Sergeant Burke. Thank you. 1290 01:24:43,411 --> 01:24:44,935 Yes, Sergeant? 1291 01:24:45,547 --> 01:24:46,707 Right. 1292 01:24:47,615 --> 01:24:49,446 Thank you, Sergeant. 1293 01:24:52,620 --> 01:24:55,680 Well, ma'am, they think she's somewhere in the building. 1294 01:24:58,359 --> 01:24:59,553 Doctor, 1295 01:24:59,861 --> 01:25:04,230 are you familiar with a Chicago department store named Neufeld's? 1296 01:25:04,766 --> 01:25:06,734 Yes. Why do you ask? 1297 01:25:06,801 --> 01:25:08,860 Because I happen to know that's where you bought 1298 01:25:08,937 --> 01:25:11,371 that camel's hair coat you're wearing. 1299 01:25:11,840 --> 01:25:15,276 Well, if you knew that, why did you ask if I was familiar with the store? 1300 01:25:15,343 --> 01:25:18,176 To see if you'd tell me the truth, ma'am. 1301 01:25:18,246 --> 01:25:22,114 Are you aware, Lieutenant, how insulting that is? 1302 01:25:22,650 --> 01:25:25,517 I am, ma'am, and I regret having to say it. 1303 01:25:26,221 --> 01:25:28,849 But now we both have to consider this. 1304 01:25:30,925 --> 01:25:32,415 Would you take a look at that, ma'am? 1305 01:25:34,696 --> 01:25:36,960 I would say that's the tag off your new coat, 1306 01:25:37,031 --> 01:25:39,226 the one you bought in Chicago. 1307 01:25:39,334 --> 01:25:41,666 And that first day, ma'am, riding up in the elevator, 1308 01:25:41,736 --> 01:25:43,670 I thought you looked very nice. 1309 01:25:43,738 --> 01:25:47,469 And that tag, that was dangling from the hem of your coat. 1310 01:25:47,842 --> 01:25:49,332 I wasn't aware of the tag. 1311 01:25:49,410 --> 01:25:52,573 No, ma'am, and I thought that was very endearing. 1312 01:25:52,647 --> 01:25:54,774 The department store people, 1313 01:25:54,849 --> 01:25:57,818 they told me you charged that coat to your credit card. 1314 01:25:57,886 --> 01:25:59,877 I did, as a matter of fact. Is that significant? 1315 01:25:59,954 --> 01:26:02,787 Well, it brings us to another question, ma'am. 1316 01:26:02,857 --> 01:26:04,916 Would you grant me that sometimes 1317 01:26:04,993 --> 01:26:07,393 a person would prefer to pay cash, 1318 01:26:07,462 --> 01:26:11,728 rather than charge something and have a written record of this purchase? 1319 01:26:12,033 --> 01:26:13,466 Would you grant me that, ma'am? 1320 01:26:15,470 --> 01:26:16,960 I suppose that, uh, 1321 01:26:18,606 --> 01:26:20,506 there could be reasons. 1322 01:26:29,117 --> 01:26:31,585 That's a fax copy of the check you gave, ma'am, 1323 01:26:31,653 --> 01:26:33,553 in your Chicago hotel. 1324 01:26:34,389 --> 01:26:38,018 $1,500, payable to cash. 1325 01:26:40,962 --> 01:26:42,930 You seem to have been very attentive to my affairs. 1326 01:26:43,865 --> 01:26:46,390 What did you do with the money, ma'am? 1327 01:26:46,467 --> 01:26:49,334 I think I've had about enough of your questions, Lieutenant. 1328 01:26:49,404 --> 01:26:52,202 How I spend my money is none of your business. 1329 01:26:52,273 --> 01:26:54,366 I'll leave you to find the woman in black. 1330 01:26:54,442 --> 01:26:56,467 You seem to have lost her. 1331 01:27:01,916 --> 01:27:02,974 (GASPS) 1332 01:27:05,720 --> 01:27:07,210 (ELEVATOR BELL DlNGS) 1333 01:27:08,289 --> 01:27:10,416 Was that the elevator, ma'am? 1334 01:27:20,301 --> 01:27:21,529 Not yet. 1335 01:27:22,070 --> 01:27:25,506 If you don't mind, ma'am, one more thing before you go. 1336 01:27:25,573 --> 01:27:27,200 The therapy room. 1337 01:27:47,729 --> 01:27:49,890 I think she may already be here, ma'am. 1338 01:27:49,964 --> 01:27:51,226 In there. 1339 01:28:06,147 --> 01:28:08,672 Do you think she's already been here? 1340 01:28:09,384 --> 01:28:11,249 Well, maybe you saw her yourself, 1341 01:28:11,319 --> 01:28:13,150 or somebody very much like her out in the foyer? 1342 01:28:14,789 --> 01:28:16,984 One of our policewomen, ma'am. 1343 01:28:17,191 --> 01:28:20,058 Only you didn't say a word about that to me, 1344 01:28:20,428 --> 01:28:24,296 because you knew Lisa, she couldn't be out there, 1345 01:28:24,932 --> 01:28:28,868 because she's been here with me all along. 1346 01:28:29,537 --> 01:28:32,631 Would you agree with me about that, Dr. Allenby? 1347 01:28:38,880 --> 01:28:41,940 You seem to have gone to a great deal of trouble, Lieutenant. 1348 01:28:42,016 --> 01:28:45,179 I think I can say the same thing about you, ma'am. 1349 01:28:45,453 --> 01:28:48,445 That's her hat, bought with cash, 1350 01:28:48,990 --> 01:28:50,389 and her wig. 1351 01:28:50,992 --> 01:28:53,756 The wig saleslady from the Chicago store, 1352 01:28:54,529 --> 01:28:58,192 she said you already had the hat when you tried on the wig. 1353 01:28:58,733 --> 01:29:01,133 Did I mention that she recognized your photo 1354 01:29:01,202 --> 01:29:03,033 from the picture we sent her from your book? 1355 01:29:03,104 --> 01:29:04,162 No. 1356 01:29:05,573 --> 01:29:07,302 No, that must have slipped your mind. 1357 01:29:08,576 --> 01:29:10,840 The saleslady in women's suits, 1358 01:29:11,846 --> 01:29:13,871 she only sold two black suits that day, 1359 01:29:13,948 --> 01:29:15,381 and only one 1360 01:29:16,217 --> 01:29:19,084 in the size of the lady who bought the wig. 1361 01:29:20,288 --> 01:29:22,882 They sent us all these things, Doctor. 1362 01:29:23,691 --> 01:29:26,489 Like the things you hid in the Music Center 1363 01:29:26,561 --> 01:29:29,530 to play your courtesan game with Mr. Kincaid. 1364 01:29:31,532 --> 01:29:35,093 Was that because of Cindy Galt, ma'am? 1365 01:29:38,306 --> 01:29:40,706 You're very intuitive, Lieutenant. 1366 01:29:41,142 --> 01:29:43,872 You would have made a splendid therapist. 1367 01:29:44,746 --> 01:29:46,611 There's a lovely fire here, ma'am. 1368 01:29:49,117 --> 01:29:51,176 Why don't we share the fire? 1369 01:29:53,721 --> 01:29:56,884 I think the night you came back from the airport, 1370 01:29:57,125 --> 01:30:00,219 you found Mr. Kincaid right here in this room, 1371 01:30:01,562 --> 01:30:03,587 making love to Cindy Galt. 1372 01:30:04,265 --> 01:30:06,290 Is that why you killed him? 1373 01:30:10,438 --> 01:30:11,837 That night, 1374 01:30:13,908 --> 01:30:15,432 the two of them in bed together, 1375 01:30:15,510 --> 01:30:17,637 I heard him laughing at me. 1376 01:30:18,813 --> 01:30:20,337 I was his joke. 1377 01:30:22,049 --> 01:30:24,574 That must have been very hard, ma'am. 1378 01:30:36,531 --> 01:30:39,500 There isn't a woman in the world, Lieutenant, 1379 01:30:39,667 --> 01:30:42,568 who wouldn't have fantasized, in my circumstances, 1380 01:30:42,637 --> 01:30:44,537 about doing what I did. 1381 01:30:47,308 --> 01:30:48,866 Make him pay 1382 01:30:51,412 --> 01:30:55,314 for the anguish and the humiliation 1383 01:30:57,084 --> 01:30:59,348 and all the loneliness to come. 1384 01:31:00,121 --> 01:31:04,182 But I went beyond the fantasy, and I wasn't even frightened. 1385 01:31:07,662 --> 01:31:08,856 Do you want to hear, Lieutenant, 1386 01:31:08,930 --> 01:31:10,727 what did frighten me? 1387 01:31:11,165 --> 01:31:13,463 If you'd like to tell me, ma'am. 1388 01:31:14,469 --> 01:31:16,334 Becoming somebody else. 1389 01:31:17,839 --> 01:31:19,363 Becoming Lisa. 1390 01:31:21,476 --> 01:31:24,001 After all my research, all my books, 1391 01:31:25,780 --> 01:31:29,511 I hadn't truly understood what it was to sink into a fantasy. 1392 01:31:30,885 --> 01:31:32,785 Being someone stronger, 1393 01:31:33,955 --> 01:31:36,947 more desirable, more willful and exciting. 1394 01:31:39,460 --> 01:31:42,156 Someone that David would never have dared betray. 1395 01:31:44,699 --> 01:31:46,496 For those few days, 1396 01:31:47,201 --> 01:31:49,931 I liked Lisa better than I liked myself. 1397 01:31:52,540 --> 01:31:54,235 That frightened me 1398 01:31:55,776 --> 01:31:58,404 far more than your waiting to arrest me. 1399 01:32:01,215 --> 01:32:04,309 Now that I've confessed all this, I want to know. 1400 01:32:07,788 --> 01:32:09,312 Do you think less of me? 1401 01:32:11,659 --> 01:32:13,456 I'm only a policeman. 1402 01:32:13,828 --> 01:32:17,264 Judging people, that's all up to somebody else. 1403 01:32:18,633 --> 01:32:22,125 But I can tell you, I've enjoyed our talks very much, 1404 01:32:23,437 --> 01:32:25,803 and I think I do understand. 1405 01:32:33,281 --> 01:32:34,509 Ma'am. 1406 01:32:35,509 --> 01:32:45,509 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org